All Who Are Weary

Know Him.

2012-02-07T14:50:00.000-06:00

Today, I want to hear the audible voice of God. Honestly, yesterday I was content with just the "knowing" that He knew all and had it under control. Today, I'm still content- but I want to hear His voice. I want to sit in a cozy living room with Him and listen to everything He has to say with me. I want to hear His heart for my life. I don't have to hear the outcome- but I'd love to hear the next step.
This just occured to me at around 2 this afternoon. Funny how this morning I posted something that Steven Furtick said in Elevation Church's current sermon.

"God wants you to know Him more than He wants you to know the outcome of your story. "

This morning that quote seemed so simple. Now that my brain has fully kicked in and I'm praying and thinking about options that I have in this critical time of my life. But, Jesus cares more about me knowing Him than knowing what He has for me next. I also firmly believe that the next chapter in my life will be revealed to me as I am spending time getting to know Him.

Heres my thought for today. Sit back.... listen to Him.... spend time with Him... even as your so busy- turn on a sermon, your audible Bible, your worship music, whatever it is to surround yourself with Him and get to know Him. Trust Him. He really does have it all under control. He's guiding you and protecting you as you surrender yourself to Him.

I just may get to hear the audible voice of God. Or, he may speak to me in an entirely different way. Whatever way He chooses, I'm here. Listening. Waiting. And getting to know Him.

In 10 Years

2012-02-03T17:41:00.000-06:00

I completed an assignment today for my Interactive Portfolio class that required me to make a list of some goals that I have personally and for my career. As I began to type out my heart for the next 10 years of my life, I realized that everything I wrote for both "sections" was centered around Jesus and Family. I didn't realize that I had those two themes throughout each goal I wrote out.
"In 10 years I would like to have started a family with one hunk of a Godly man." is an exact quote from my assignment. I went on to explain my goals of writing books, raising a generation of passionate, world-changing people, consistently following God's voice wherever He leads my husband and I.
Granted, in 10 years, I will be 31 and their is a possibility that I will not have these things. And I'm okay with that. But I do realize that Family and Jesus is what has kept me growing and changing over the last 21 years of my life and I plan on keeping it that way. I tried to refrain from making success my number one priority. I believe that when you follow God's design and plan you are successful. No matter what the bank account or social status says.
My family is pretty much awesome. They surround and support me with love and prayer and a lot of laughter. There is never a dull moment and they keep life exciting. The way they make me want to be a better me without even saying a word is the most positive and challenging thing. They don't let me slack and they definitely don't let me wander from myself or the things I am rooted in for long. I am blessed and I am thankful.
I only hope that 10 years from now, if I am blessed with a family to be raising the same type of family my parents have. One that loves, supports, honors, respects, and brings joy to other people. I hope that 10 years from now my knees are worn out from time praying and crying out to God for a revival and hunger amongst the generations below me. I pray that the books I write promote passion, purity, and love for our Abba Father.
My Jesus continually wraps His arms around me and comforts me and whispers His secrets to me. He constantly forgives me when I fail him and continually draws me closer and closer to Him. He opens up doors and shuts doors for me. He leads and guides me. He romances me into an intimate relationship between Him and I. He loves me.

Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Personal Life? Career? Think about it, begin to write it out. Define what it's centered around and double check your motives. Writing out my goals today was strategic and needed. We have to know where we are headed to gain ground. Be intentional.

Wounded to Loved

2012-02-01T21:35:00.001-06:00

Last night, I had the honor of wrapping my arms around a 15 year old girl who began to share with me her struggles as a high school student. The things boys tell her, how they treat her, and how girls attack her with gossip and hurtful words. I've listened to young girls pour their hearts out to me with tears streaming down their faces time and time again. Lies have been placed in their minds that they aren't good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, dumb enough, flirty enough, this enough and that enough. I've seen young girls flaunt themselves at boys just to see if they will be told they are pretty.
Tears flooded my face last night as I was told these stories. Tears of familairity. I was there. I am there. I know what they are going through. I just face a whole different set of "not _____ enough"s. Once I got home and began to think about the girls that have trusted me enough to share their hearts with- I began to get mad and frustrated at 16 year old boys. But also at 40 year old fathers.
Our world is flooded with fathers who think that telling their sons a woman on a photoshopped magazine cover with hardly any clothes on is sexy. Young boys are growing up with images in their heads that are not realistic. They think it's okay to have sex surrounding them at all times. Fathers not stepping up and calling out the true beauty in a woman is sickening to me. Fathers, you make a difference in this world. Men- even if you don't have a child- you are a father. Someone is watching you and looking up to you. If you are okay with seeing a woman hardly dressed then they will also assume it's okay. But when will it stop? When will you take a stand for the women who are hurt and bruised by these unrealistic expectations that society places on them?
13 year olds struggling with anorexia and bulimia trying to make themselves acceptable to men. Men, where are you? Men of God who look at more than just a pant size and bra size. Men who see the personality, the passions of their hearts, their desires, and their overall character of woman. Men who call out the beauty in a woman by allowing them to be themselves. Not having to put on a low cut dress to gain your attention.
My heart is scrambling for words. This is where I come alive. This is where I have so much to say that I can't put it together. Honestly, as a woman, I would much rather hear a man say to me, "I love your heart and how you love life." over... "You look hott." any day.
This is what I have to say to the young women that are hurting. You are beautiful. You are absolutely beautiful from the inside out. Never allow a boy to tell you that aren't good enough. Cling to the love that the Savior has lavished on us. Just as Christ loves his church- so a man should love his bride, his woman. Women- hang on to your purity. Hang on to your diginity. Don't allow a man to step all over you and sweet talk you in to giving away something you can never give back. Stand up for yourself. RUN. I've heard it best from Bianca Olthoff, "Girl, I know you think he's hott... but so is hell... RUN!" Everyday work on becoming the most beautiful you from the inside out. "Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the Lord is greatly to be praised."

Jesus is completely able to take you from wounded to loved in an instant. His mercy is new every day. He is willing and able to nurture your wounds back to health.

Stick it out. Memorize scripture on how much God loves you, and how He formed you. Do not listen to this world. You are worth it. You are worth the wait. You are worth the pursuit. Respect yourself. Forgive yourself. and Love yourself. And talk to someone about how you've been hurt. Allow them to pray over you for healing. Life is too short to waste it on a perverted, sex-craving boy... wait it out... there are Godly men that are seeking you as well. I just know it. Warriors and Men of Valor.

He Cares For You

2012-01-31T15:52:00.000-06:00

Every now and again I get a little impatient with God's timing. I get ahead of myself and think that I'm ready for "the next thing" when in fact, I am not. I begin to search and reach at things that are not from the hand of God just to cease the hunger that has been placed inside of me for more. Of course, I quickly find that even the things I try to fill that void with only makes me that much hungrier. It's like being sooo thirsty and getting a Coca-Cola to take the quench. Trust me, the Coca Cola tastes amazing- but it doesn't quench my thirst like a glass of water would. It really, just makes me thirstier.
We all come to a crossroads in our lives where we begin to say things like, "I think I'm ready to go to college.", "I think I'm ready to get married.", "Honey, I think I'm ready for children.". The list goes on and on. But something inside of us begins to tick and we begin to yearn after these things. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Where we go wrong, is when we put our desire for these things above God's timing. I am a huge advocate of going after the things God calls you to and totally against laziness in the things of God. There are some things though that the Lord has to allow into our lives for us to be able to step into them. And, it takes time. His time. (Perfect time.)
Graduation from my Graphic Design Diploma is only a mere 5 weeks away. The excitement that is inside of me is ridiculous. I am not much of a fan of school so I'm ready for the nights of homework and papers to cease. But I'm also ready for "the next thing". I've already been blessed enough to be able to move out of the house this week and push forward. The hang up that I've encountered is I feel like a squirrel racing around the park looking for the PERFECT acorn. I'm scurrying around trying to figure out what God has for me next instead of allowing Him to lead me. Where He is there is freedom and liberty. When I step in and put my impatience before His perfection there is chaos and confusion. I end up saying things like, "There's nothing for me after school." "Internships don't want me." And I totally ignore the Lord instructing me and teaching me because I'm allowing and permitting my worries to overshadow His plan and peace.
The past few days I keep hearing the Lord whisper to me that He has it under control and it's going to be okay. He has my back and He's watching out for me. He has my heart in mind. How do you figure it out? You press into Him. The further I press into Him the better I can hear and understand His direction and peace. The more rooted I am in the Word- the more His truth will rise up within me and cancel out the lies the world/ satan throws at me. The deeper I am in intimacy and worship with the Lord- the more I'll recognize His whispers.

This blog is probably more for me to write it out than anything. It's all about coming back to a place of trust with the Lord. He really does care for you.

Kitchen Tools.

2012-01-30T10:03:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was a landmark in the life of Brennen Gaddis. I moved out of my parent's house. Took off from the nest. Praying and crossing my fingers that I don't boomerang. Not because I don't like living with my parents, but because it's time for me to grow up and be the woman God has called me to be. :)
I'm so blessed to get to live with my best friend, Ashley Abney, in the cutest house nestled in the woods. We've been moving stuff in the house for the last few weeks. Saturday, we were unpacking the kitchen. Ashley, is possibly the coolest friend ever. One of those reasons, is she enjoys to be fully equipped & ready in every area of life. For example, this morning, (after my first night sleeping at the new house) I realized I left my toothbrush at parent's house. Ashley, came to the rescue with a 10pack that she keeps for emergencies. So, you can imagine- unpacking the kitchen. Tons and tons of cooking utensils.
This girl is ready to cook any and every type of food. I kept pulling out all of these utensils and kitchen tools saying, "What is this for?" Most of the time, she remembered... and the excitement grew for me to cook the greatest meals ever in that kitchen.

Then it hit me, we have tools inside of us that we never use. Just like Ashley's kitchen, when unpacking it she began to remember the tools and why she bought them... and our anticipation grew to cook/ bake something great. God has placed tools and giftings deep inside of us that we may have forgotten about. The passions and desires you've placed on the back-burner because you didn't think you were good enough or that it was the right time; those are "tools" that God has given you to use and effect the Kingdom of God. Don't hide your passions. Live them out. The world needs you and all that you have within you.
I'm a firm believer that the things God calls you to he equips and fulfills you to accomplish. Be obedient to the things he is calling you to. It may seem like it would take too much time or be too difficult but press forward. God is preparing you for such a time as this. The time is now. Act upon those giftings. Bring out the tools and cook the most delicious meal ever. :)

It's said best in Philippians 2:13, "For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him." (NLT) version.

Graphic Design Dreams

2012-01-23T10:25:00.001-06:00

I am one month away from graduating with my Digital Design Diploma from the Art Institute of Pittsburgh. This is extremely exciting and also pretty nerve-wracking. It forces me into the real world... or at least urges me to grow up and become an adult. I'm thankful that I want to "grow up". Honestly, when I started this program, I really had no intention of using it in the graphic design field. I figured, I would use it for myself with the books I want to write, posters for events I'm involved in, and just being able to say that I can do it. However, through this process I have fallen in love with Graphic Design. I love the field and the challenges that it brings me to. There is always a sense of "I have so much to learn", which pushes me to constantly become a better version of the "Graphic Designer Brennen". The desire for a career in Design has pleasantly surprised me.

I've been on a job/ internship search for the past month. It's humbling. I've sent e-mails for opportunities and haven't heard anything back. I've looked at my portfolio comparing it to others and felt inadequate. Then other times, the confidence is full force. I'll have someone see some of my work and just stare at it and comment on how much they love it and how impressed they are with me.

This it what I am learning...... It is okay to be turned down. It doesn't always feel the greatest at the time, but it's okay. I can't let one "no" stand in the way of a possibility for a "yes". When searching for a job- you have to keep pushing forward. Letting nothing stand in the way. One day, I have full confidence, that an opportunity so unique and fitting for me will arise. Yahweh, Jehovah Jireh is my Provider. He has my heart in mind.... and also my career.

If you are in the same shoes I am in..... Going after your dreams.... Looking for the perfect opportunity.... Press on.... It's around the corner.... I just know it.

Giving

2011-12-16T14:54:00.004-06:00

I absolutely love a giving heart. It amazes and humbles me. It's pretty easy to give when things are going great... but not so easy when you're penny pinching. This season is all about giving.... I follow an amazing photographer on facebook and she has decided to giveaway a camera. This amazes me... and excites me. Part of the reason for this blog post is so I can be entered to win. But the fact that she is giving a camera away also teaches me. It reminds me of how much fun giving can be. And also reminds me of how Christ gave himself to us. So much more to life than just going through the motions. Life is about making a difference. Jesus didn't die on the cross for us to sit back and go through the 9-5 white picket fence mumbo jumbo of life. He died so that we could have life and have it abundantly.

So live it up! Make a difference in someone's life today. Just like Oh So Posh Photography is. :) And.... pray that I win! :) I've been needing a new camera for a while.

You can visit her facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/OhSoPoshPhotography.

Her actions are pretty awesome.. I've been wanting to buy some recently. :)

Hurtful Words

2011-12-02T01:23:00.001-06:00

I realized a few things tonight. For the past few months I have not been myself, or I have not been the best version of myself. I blame it on no one but myself. Truth: You decide how happy/ fulfilled/ and awesome your life is. Circumstances don't define it. Your attitude and choices do. I reaLized that I allowed someone to define me. I allowed this one persons hurtful words to mold my life. The words cut me to the core speaking directly to my fears. fears of being too young, not good enough, and never being able to be "make the cut". The words that were spoken didn't come out like that word for word. But they cut me to the core... And I allowed them to form an infected wound. Instead of standing on God's words about me- I allowed someone else's words to rule my life. Tonight- I believe that the Lord spoke to me. He told me that He would bring me through the fire and into the rain. And that He had my heart in mind. And He does. He believes in me, He doesn't see the age of 21 as a hinderence. He chooses me and wants to use me. Don't allow someone's words that have cut you down to shape who you become. Decide who you want to be... And be! You can be totally awesome and the best version of yourself if you choose to. Hold your chin up, and keep marching forward.

Say What You Need To Say.

2011-11-03T22:27:00.000-05:00

My heart is heavy while I write this blog post. Last night, I watched a movie (that I boo-hooed in the entire time) about parents loosing a child in a car wreck. Today, I heard about a young man in a high school that passed away. This world is not perfect and it doesn't always makes sense or seem fair. There are parts of it that hurt and tear at your heart.

I think that we can do a lot with the time that we do have with one another. Like John Mayer says, "Say what you need to say." Tell those around you how you feel. Tell them that you love them. Tell them they are pretty. Tell them that you like how they laugh. Tell them that the thought of loving them scares you. Or that you can't imagine not having them in your life. Tell them you could hug them all day. Tell them the things that you love about them. Tell them that you believe in them. Tell them......... that you care.

I never want to say that I didn't say what means the most. I never want people in my life to not know that I love, care, believe, and adore them. My life may hurt sometimes and things may not seem fair... but my words can change someone elses day. Be honest. Make the most of each and every day with those that you love. Love makes this world spin.... and it makes hearts full.

Love. Tell that you love. Share that you love. Love.

Rate This Rating Systems

2011-09-08T11:37:00.002-05:00

I just spent some time flipping through random albums on iTunes. Randomly, I get in a mood where I want to find the underdog in the music industry and support them. The search began- previewing began- and then I ventured into the Customer Ratings section. I've decided- I don't like that section. It doesn't give you a chance to form your own opinion. You already have preconceived ideas/ thoughts about that artist before you have even listened to 2 songs.

Sometimes, life is the same way. We are so eager to get everyone's opinions on what is going on in our lives that we never step back and form our own. We judge a book by it's cover. We won't take the time to peel back the layers and invest in getting to know someone, an organization, a product, or a group of people. What would happen if the 5 star rating system never came about? Sure, we'd have a few bad experiences. But what if, we found something so special and quaint that would have otherwise been overlooked because someone that came from a different path of life, different belief systems, different personality said they didn't like it.

I mean, I'm just saying. It's so hard for me to like things sometimes because I know other people don't. Reality! That is dumb. It's dumb that I let other people's opinions affect what music I like. This goes much farther than music. What about the guy at the lunch table that sits by himself? I know in high school I ignored him because I didn't want to "look" stupid. I don't even talk to the people that I might have "looked" stupid to. Now I not only look stupid but am stupid for not investing in his life.

The point is- stop rating people, organizations, products and invest in them. Invest the time to get to know them, allow grace for them to fail, and support them. Everyone needs someone to believe in them. You never know where these people will end up. There is something so beautiful and unique inside every individual.... sometimes it takes someone else taking the time to unveil it.

My Vision Statement.

2011-08-28T01:06:00.002-05:00

Where's your heart? Where's your passion? Why aren't you going after the things you are called to do?

These are the questions I've been asking myself lately. It is so easy to get caught up in life that we put our hopes, dreams, and passions to the side. Let it never be said of me- that I didn't fight for my passions. This is a vow I make to you, I will fight for my passions. I will pursue my Lord and Savior and follow Him wherever He leads me. And I will always fight for what He put in this heart.

My heart is full and expectant for what the Lord is calling me into. I may not know the exact step I am to take- but I know it doesn't include me putting my passions on the sideline.

My dream of becoming a wife to a honorable and holy man of God will be covered in prayer and fasting. My hopes of being a published writer on a realistic, down-to-earth, say it like it is- Purity book will be covered in hard work and direct downloads from my Abba. My life-long passion for children will be cultivated until the day that I have my own. My pursuit of being a friend- a good friend- will be spent over good food and talks about what really matters. My dream of speaking and teaching on purity and holiness will be prepared and cultivated by a life at the altar and in the secret place with my Father. It will be prepared through the small one-on-one opportunities I have to pour into others. My love for overseas missions will be a priority in my life. A priority of putting God first and others second. My heart for seeing Heaven invade earth will include boldness and living a life of prayer. My heart to see the church be the church will be soaked in a desire to break the life of mediocrity and to step into the fullness of who He is.

This life is not my own. I plan to change things and be the best Brennen that I can be. When God speaks, I will obey. I will protect and honor the things He has placed in my life and in my heart. I will fight for the things He longs for. I will stand in the gap. I will intercede. I will love.

I share my heart with you to urge you. Where's your heart. I want to hear it. I want to see you live it out. I want to see you fight for it.

There is something beautiful about people attempting the impossible. There is such beauty in the attempt. Sure we may mess up and fall. Heck, I've been writing this book for a year and only have 4 pages written. That doesn't mean I throw in the towel. That means I start writing. That means I pick myself up, dust myself off, and keep walking. He's calling you forward. He's calling you to more. Where's your heart?

I wrote this without realizing that it's my vision statement. I have sat down before to write out my vision statement and it never came out. Not until I began to write about my passions and desires did my vision / mission statement come out. Put the pen to the paper- and write out your goals, passions, and desires. You just might end up with your Vision Statement written out.

Grace in Growth.

2011-08-17T21:17:00.002-05:00

Life is not always easy. In fact- life involves change, transition, and sometimes a few bumps along the way. I'm not necessarily used to bumps that clog my mind up. Of course, problems come up- but I can normally make a decision and be on with it. However, I have found myself in a series of "bumps" where I seem to constantly be in a battle in my head. If that doesn't make sense to you, let me keep explaining.
People let you down, you let yourself down, you make bad decisions, you make good decisions other people don't agree with, your bank account is way too low for comfort, you can't seem to find what you are supposed to do, you still live with your parents, school is almost over which means student loans are going to have to be paid, your car's AC goes out, and you feel like you can't get in your purpose. Okay, so maybe that isn't what you are going through- but that's my head right now. I'll be completely transparent with my blog readers. My life has been difficult lately. Not on the outside- but on the inside. I have had to bite my tongue, watch my actions, and constantly take thoughts captive lately. I have felt dried up. However, it isn't the normal "dried up" feeling. The one where I haven't been praying or reading my Bible and that is all that takes to fix it. But a "dried up" to reality kind of dried up. I'm at the end of myself in making decisions on my life. And I'm really not sure where I'm supposed to go, what I'm supposed to do, or how I am supposed to do it.
I know what I'm supposed to do- it's just a matter of doing it. It'd be much easier to run away, quit, and give up- but it's sticking it out and figuring it out through listening to the Lord that I need to do. I'm not really for sure the protocol for fixing a bumpy road other than Jesus. I have to keep my Yes to the Lord so loud that I don't have to worry about saying no to the things of the world. (Damon Thompson tidbit) I have to keep pressing on doing the things that I know the Lord has told me to do. I have to keep in His Word. Keep praying. Keep seeking the Lord's face.
The other day I was working out the whole broken AC in my car ordeal and I kept hearing the Lord say, "My grace is sufficient." (And it totally is). What I had forgotten was what else accompanied that excerpt from scripture. The entire verse goes on to say that His power is made perfect in weakness. That is exactly what I have to keep telling myself.... His power can come through me when I am weak. So with that- I will rejoice in the fact that I am a human. I am in a season of my life where I'm not at my strongest- but the Lord can be strong for me. He can handle my battles. He can handle my weakness. He isn't scared of me.... He just wants to see me grow. Just like He is pushing you to be a better you- He is pushing Brennen to be the best Brennen I can be. We are never to a point where we can throw in the towel. We gotta keep moving, keep pressing, and keep seeking.

There is grace in growth.
Grace. Grace. Grace.

I end this blog with a quote from a movie I watched today, Soul Surfer, "When you get in the impact zone, get back up, because you never know what is over the next wave."

Restoration and Downtown Buildings

2011-07-27T22:33:00.000-05:00

   I have two of the coolest bosses in Owensboro. (Actually, in the world.) Larry and Rosemary Conder. Two of the sweetest and most generous people I have met. I admire them for so much and one thing that they do (that is so cool) is they restore downtown buildings. They take run down, beaten up, nasty buildings and turn them into something beautiful. They are rebuilding quite a few buildings downtown for business and condo/apartments currently in Owensboro. Everything that they work on downtown ends up absolutely beautiful and accomplished in excellence.
   I was thinking this week on how great of a job they do at restoring buildings and the Lord spoke to me and said, "Nothing is too old, beaten down, or ugly to restore." It hit me. Nothing is too difficult for the Lord. While the Conder's specialize in buildings the Lord specializes in people. He can take the most rotten individual and with enough work, rebuilding, and change they have the possibility of turning into delightful individuals. He believes in you and sees your potential. Psalm 51:7 says, "Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow." The Lord desires to restore his children. He wants to see them come back into His plan, be cleaned out, wiped clean, and given an opportunity to shine. He wants His children to shine. When Rosemary goes and looks at a building I am sure she doesn't think, "What can I do with these broken windows and walls with holes." Instead she thinks, "These windows can be replaced with some windows I saw the other day that were so pretty. We can move that wall this way so we can build an apartment."
   We need to see the potential in ourselves and begin a walk of rebuilding and restoration. I don't have a 5 step plan..... I just know to seek God, pray, and marinate yourself with His scriptures. It's never too late to turn into something beautiful. Not for a building, and not even for a person. Now is the time.

While working at the coffeehouse, the Conders have taught me several things. I thought I'd share! :)

1. Always look at potential and not what you initially see.

2. Hard work pays off.

3. Give generously.

4. It's okay to have maintenance work. Just fix it right the second time.

5. Work hard. You are never too dressed up to work hard. (I have watched Rosemary work in heels and Sorreli jewlery. Impressive.)

6. You just do what you have to do. They never relent, even when they are sleepy.

7. Love the people around you. Rebuilding buildings isn't worth it without loving the people that come into them afterwards.

8. Help others accomplish their dreams. I've been blessed with Rosemary in my life- she pushes me to get out of my comfort zone and excel in the things I'm called to.

9. Share your stories and laugh.

10. Enjoy life. See the good in every situation.

Burn.

2011-07-10T18:51:00.000-05:00

   The world does not need you to be an every-day "American" Christian. The mundane, medirocre and sad excuse for Christianity must end. This world doesn't need it. It's actually hurting it more than it is helping the world. The world needs you on fire for the things of God. They need you to be burning. They need you to be passionate. They need to see you live out a relentless pursuit for the things of God. The glory of God must be our focus. And if you can say you are pursuing that while marking off your check-list of "I didn't cuss today. Check. I didn't get drunk today. Check. I kept my cool instead of socking a guy in the face. Check." Those days are over. It doesn't pass for enough for God.
   Actually, God detests it. If you are living a mediocre lifestyle for God- he isn't pleased one bit. He actually wants to throw you up. (Rev. 3:16) I am so sick of being scared of being a "fanatic" for the Lord. I refuse to step down to the world's standard of Christian. I refuse to sit in the same seat every week, putting a polite smile on my face, and clapping at the good performance, and shaking hands and living a mundane & boring lifestyle. Damon Thompson hits on this a lot.... and since I've been listening to his podcasts quite frequently that's probably where this stems from. But- he says this often, "God is not boring. You are boring." How can the God of this universe who created stars and people be boring? He can't! He isn't! He is not boring!
   Once you begin to taste the reality of who God is, hear His whispers in Your ears, live a life of faith and stepping into the things He has for you, and ultimately laying your life down so that He can lift you up and pull you into a life that is better than any high from this world- you will realize that He isn't boring.
   The only way I know how to tell you to start to burn is to choose to burn. If you haven't been in church or been in the word in a while that's fine..... dry wood burns better. You have to simply begin to pursue the Living God. Get in His word. Surround yourself with people that burn. (There's a whole group at PromiselandMetro Church :D) Worship Him. Find Him in the everyday things.
   That's my favorite thing about Him. He is in my everyday activities. He speaks to me through every-day life. He can make food an analogy of the things of God to me. I can run into a door and He'll speak to me. You can read about it here.
   The bottom line is this. Jesus and His disciples were not ordinary people. They didn't get up, go to work, come home, sleep and repeat. They lived it out. They couldn't contain themselves. They laid hands on the sick- and they were healed. They fed the hungry. Clothed the naked. They loved to do the work of the Father. They served. Your works don't save you- but they could touch someone else who ends up falling in love with their Creator because they saw you live it out.
   Once you start to burn. Burn confidently. Your confidence in your burning will push others into burning. They will see that you can burn, be a crazy person that loves the Lord, be a fanatic, be radical and still be confident. You don't have to hide the fact that you love the Lord.

   Burn!!! The worlds needs you to burn for the things of God. They need to see that God is who He says He is and that He will do what He says He will do. They need to know who to go to for answers. They'll go to the burning ones- because they know they can count on them to be on their faces in prayer for them in times of need and trouble. And that they will be beside them rejoicing in the good times. Get on fire! Live it out.

Basketball & Snickers. Just Believe.

2011-07-03T22:15:00.001-05:00

   I am so blessed by some of the connections I have, especially blessed by my connection to Madison, Mississippi. Two weeks ago I took off on my summer adventure. Camp Leader for RAMP for Metro's youth for the first of the week then jumping on a flight to come to Mississippi to help out THE Terre Jasper. THE Terre Jasper is the Children's Pastor for Pinelake Church in MS, she was also my youth leader at Bellevue for my entire Middle and High school years. I came to MS to visit, but also to help out with her Kids Week. My life is forever changed.
   I have grown up in church and have been on plenty of mission trips and helped out with numerous camps an I have found that it's normally one child that changes my life. And that's exactly what happened this week. His name will remained unmentioned. But he was not my easiest child, he was actually my most difficult. He didn't behave, he had a bad attitude, and he didn't have a respect for authority. All three of those things clash BIG time with me. After the first day I was pretty frustrated that he was on my basketball team with 6 other 2nd/3rd graders. The Lord spoke to me while attempting to punish him and told me to not give up.
   I began to disect and pick apart his actions and behavior. After he bit my assistant coach, I decided it was time to chat. I began to ask him about his home life.... and it finally hit me. He was always acting defeated because he grows up in an atmosphere where no one believes in him. Tears were at the edge of my eyeballs and instead of making him sit out, I made him hug me. Not a short hug. But a hug. A hug from your g-ma that hasn't seen ya in a while. I hugged, hugged, and hugged the poor child. He looked at me and said, "Miss. Brennen, why you hugging me!?" And I told him I loved him and believed in him.

Everyone needs someone to believe in them. Everyone needs someone to love them.

That's what this precious child taught me. I ended up bribing him to behave. I have no idea if that was the correct thing to do, but he was amazed that I would spend a dollar on a yellow snickers. Bless his heart, he couldn't make it the last day and didn't even get it. But, I hope that I left him with something way better than a Snickers. (You know that's gotta be good.) I pray I left him with hope and that he knows someone believes in him. Even if they live in Ky. You better believe that on our last day together when he improved 17 points on his "HotShot" score I was jumping up and down like a proud momma.

Who are you believing in? Who was the last person you hugged and told them how much they meant to you? Reach out. Three days of playing basketball with a child who doesn't behave changed my life.

Marriage In The Eyes of a Single Girl

2011-06-19T20:27:00.001-05:00

The Lord won't quit speaking to me about marriage. He keeps giving me revelations about marriage, love, dating, purity, and life. I'm not totally for sure why, but He is. It could be He wants me to start writing my book again or it could be so I can write this blog. I have no idea but I'm more than happy to hear and learn. I've prayed about and considered writing a blog about marriage for quite some time. The only reason I hesitate is because I'm not married. But, I've decided that excuses stink and I'm writing it. I thought I would share some of the things God is speaking to me about:

(this is part of my fairytale... He'll wear suspenders)

   -Your spouse is a human being. They are not perfect. Give them grace to learn and grow as a person. I am sure that I have a few fairytale mindsets when it comes to marriage. Mostly being that my husband will be the best thing ever and never make a mistake. But that's false. And in a marriage, I will have to let my husband grow into the man God is calling Him to become.
   -I must speak to His potential and not who He currently is. The reason for marriage is that two are better than one. I'm not as strong on my own as I will be with my husband. We have to let iron sharpen iron. And we also have to believe in our spouses. If you constantly speak negative things over your spouse.... then the product of that will probably be negative. It's amazing what believing in someone will do to a relationship.
   -Be on the same page. It's hard to understand something when you're at 2 different points. Look out for each other. Hold hands.
   -Love is a choice. In a marriage I will have to choose love every day. Even when I don't feel like it. I will have to come up with reasons to love him. (And probably write them down so I won't forget.)
   -Prayer. I must be on my face in intercession for my husband. Now, when we're dating and when I'm married.
   -God's eyes. How does God see my husband? That will check a lot of my awful thoughts when He isn't mowing the yard when I think He should, or saying the right thing, or doesn't want to cook.
   -Honor my husband now. The amount of honor I show towards my husband will be in direct correlation to the amount of life in our relationship. Honor brings life.
   -God first. Husband second. In that order. Always. Always. Always. My husband can't solve all my problems or complete me. Only the Lord can. I also must communicate with my husband about the passions, encounters, and sweet whispers the Lord gives me.
   -I am not his Holy Spirit. God is very capable of handling my husband's problems. Unless instructed by my Heavenly Father- I will have to keep my mouth shut.
   -Hug. Kiss. Spend Time with one another. Find a question that you can ask every day that will stir conversation. Communication. Physical Touch. Keep the passion burning.
   -Don't yell. Ever. Never even think about mentioning the D word. (divorce). (Learned that one from my parents.)
   -Stay in alignment with the Word. Keep a kingdom mentality.

I am sure that when I do get married one day, I will have to re-read this blog. I am also sure that my husband and I will not always live in a fairy tale land. Even though I think we can for some of it. It's all a matter of choice. And I will choose to love. I make that vow now. I have a few other vows that I have written out for my husband now before I've met him. I want to honor my husband even now when I'm sitting on a couch alone. One day my prince will come, and until that day, I'll pray, fast, and honor Him.

"Jesus, What are YOU doing!?"

2011-06-16T12:25:00.000-05:00

   "Jesus... what are You doing?" was the question I jotted down in my journal today. Sometimes in life things come in it that you just wonder what God has up His sleeve. That's what is going on in my life. This past week has been a week full of encounters with Him. He is stretching me, asking me to dream bigger, think larger, and be bolder. He's bringing things into my life that I "wonder" about. It's so easy to try and dissect every little thing and try to figure it all out. But, what good will that do? None.... I simply must come to a place of absolute trust.
   A friend recently told me, "Absolute trust = Absolute peace". Ah, the truth that is in that statement! If I am worrying over every little thing and trying to manipulate things into happening the way I see fit- I am not trusting. Therefore, I live in a chaotic mind set. A chaotic mindset is not aligning me to hear from the Lord.
   I want to always position myself to be able to hear from the Lord. So many times I catch myself complaining to my friends, "I'm just not hearing the Lord speak." How wrong am I!? So wrong. Either He IS speaking and my chaotic mind isn't listening. Or, He's already told me something and I haven't been obedient.
   Last month, the Lord spoke very clearly to me and told me to give a young girl in the church something. I shut it off and said no way. Last week, He told me again. This time, I obeyed. In that month- I was not hearing from the Lord. Since last Tuesday when I stepped out in obedience- I can not get enough of the Presence of God. He's been speaking to me.... that's just one testimony of when you obey the Lord you are aligning yourself to receive from Him. We have to be in alignment with His word and His kingdom. Pastor Jeff does such a great job at explaining this, I may have to get him to write a "blog" for me about it. :)
   Back to what God is doing in our lives. Stop worrying, He has it under control. It's so good to hear that sometimes. To be reminded of His faithfulness. He knows us better than we know ourselves. He doesn't withhold any good thing from us. He gives us the desires of our hearts.
   I was reading Psalms 103-105 today and I wanted to share a few truths from it:

104:27 God will give us our food at the proper time. Check out that verse! The hungry get fed!

104:30 He renews the Earth with His spirit. +Get in His presence, there is renewing.

105:15 If you are walking in your anointing- you are protected.

Stand on His promises. Allow God to work, don't try to figure it out. It's like your on a rollercoaster. If you know every turn and curve and up and down it can take the fun out of it. It's the surprises in roller coasters that make it fun. ;) Get ready people!

Get It Together

2011-06-13T10:39:00.000-05:00

I don't feel like I have it all together. And if I am honest with myself, I don't have it all together. I oversleep. I eat too much. I don't exercise. I miss my quiet times. I talk to the Lord more than I listen. I don't stay on my budget. And like last night, I skipped doing my homework. Simply, because I didn't want to do it.

Why is it that I do this!? I get so frustrated with myself. As I talk to other people, I find out that I am not the only one. But this morning, I apologized to the Lord for it. And He spoke back, "I didn't ask you to have it all together." That's the thing. He didn't. He asked us to love him and serve him. (Amongst other things as well.) He asked us to love him totally and completely. He asked us to live a lifestyle that lines up with the word. He asked us to love him so completely that it becomes a lifestyle.

He isn't a perfect recipe or formula. Yes, according to the world I should be up at 8am, eating healthy, exercising, etc, etc. But if I do all of that but not love….. what am I!? Nothing. I must love. I must love with my entire being. I must love and serve whole-heartedly. Completely abandoned to His will.

I will not be so ignorant to dismiss my lack of discipline because I love the Lord. I totally believe that the Lord wants us to live a life with some solid disciplines. Look at Proverbs 5:23- "For lack of discipline they will die, led astray by their own great folly.

Folly: Definition: Noun: Foolishness, stupidity, thoughtlessness

So, as I was praying and asking the Lord for a passion to wake up at 8am, ready to go exercise, and resist Coca-Colas; He reassured me that He has me in His hand. That He loves me like I am. But that yes, I do need to work on some things in my life. One lie that I have told myself, is that one day I would reach perfection. I would "have it all together". And that's not true. Some days, I might. But other days, I might not get it all just right. I don't go into my day with a defeated attitude saying that I'll never be able to do this. I wake up, put on the armor of the Lord, fill myself with His word and truth, and dive into the day confident in what the Lord has called me to.

He doesn't want us to have it all together, He wants us to be intentional. Intentional about: spending time with Him, serving Him, loving and serving others, taking care of our bodies (adequate sleep, exercise, and eating healthy), and walking in our individual purpose and callings.

I encourage you with the fact that you aren't the only one who doesn't have it all together. But that it's okay. Just start working on being intentional. And remember that He's holding you. He's got your back. And their is grace for our lives with Him.

A Short Blog on Love.

2011-06-04T23:18:00.000-05:00

   If you have a husband please do not complain to me about him. I don't have any friends that do this. But, I hear so many women complain about their husbands. And it's always his fault. And he doesn't do enough. What if instead of degrading your husband- you encouraged him? I know that I am a merely 20 year old single girl who isn't married or close to being married, but you can learn alot from the outside in. Marriages are the one thing that I study and watch. I love it when I see a couple that is still in love, working on their marriage, and striving to be the best that they can be for one another.
   Divorce rates are skyrocketing. The other day I had a customer say that normal life is: Get married. Have kids. Get divorced. How sad is that!? I am lucky to be surrounded by couples that work at their relationship and constantly choose love.

   And that's the thing..... you have to choose love. You have to work at it. You gotta make time for each other. You have to make each other a priority. And when he drives you nuts.... think about me. A single girl who can't wait to get married.

Jonah.

2011-05-25T00:02:00.000-05:00

   Jonah. That's what the Lord said to me tonight. I kind of laughed to myself because everyone knows about Jonah. I was almost cocky in my "spirituality", like I was too good to read Jonah. Doesn't the Lord know how many times I've read Jonah!? But, when the Lord speaks- I've learned to obey. I opened up the Word not expecting to hear from the Lord.
   Total opposite. The Lord spoke some truths to me that definately have changed my perspective on the story of Jonah. The Lord also taught me to get off my "high-horse" and to stay a learner. (Always stay a novice! We can always learn something.) The wonderful thing about the word of the Lord is it is always relevant. It works like building blocks. You can always build foundational truths to your knowledge "wall'. It just keeps building on the previous truth.

   I thought I would share what the Lord taught me this evening. Here is a recap of the story in case you've forgotten. :) The Lord told Jonah to go to Nineveh. Jonah thought he had better things to do. Jonah bought a ticket and jumped on a ship. An awful storm came about when they were sailing. They casted lots to figure out who was causing it. It was Jonah. (His disobedience.) They casted him over. The sea quit. Jonah got eaten by a whale. Stayed in the whale for 3 days. He spit him up. The Lord told him to go to Nineveh again. He went. He did what he was supposed to do. Nineveh prayed and fasted. The Lord had compassion. Jonah went to the outskirts of the city to watch what would happen. The Lord gave him a shade vine for his comfort. The next day the Lord sent a worm and the vine shirveled. Jonah was angry because of the vine dying. (Sigh.... )

   There are many "Jonahs" walking around in our society. They recognize that Jesus is Lord over their life but are running away from their calling. Some are paying to run away from their calling like Jonah did when he bought the ticket for sea. We must wake up to our callings. We must obey what the Lord has spoken to us. He made and created each of us. Why do we question if He knows best!? I get so frustrated with myself when I question God. And I have to remind myself that I do not know best. He has known me longer than I have known me! He created me! Don't you think He knows what is best for my life!? I should trust him and obey!

   I laughed when I read that Jonah paid to flee from God. Why do we run so quickly from the things God calls us to!? Fear? Rejection? Pride?

   Even the fish obey God. The whale could have eaten Jonah. But the Lord spoke and told it to spit him out.... and the whale obeyed. Amazing.

   After Jonah was spit out God did not give him a new assignment. He gave him the first one. We question why we can't hear God tell us what to do in our lives... when He is waiting for us to obey what He has already spoken! Recover what the Lord has spoken and obey Him.

   The Lord provided Jonah a vine for his comfort. But the next day He sent a worm. When Jonah questioned God... The Lord replied and asked him if he had tended to it to make it flourish. Many times the Lord does not give us things we are praying for because our character can't withstand it. We have to be in a position to receive what we are praying for! If you can't handle the 20 dollars God gives you ever week then how can he trust you with 2,000 dollars a week!? Be faithful with what God gives you. Tend to it. Cultivate it! Make it flourish!

   This last truth is what really got me. I pray for so many amazing things to happen in my life. But I wonder if I'm ready for them!? I need to get to a place where I am prepared and ready for what He gives me so I can continue to hold on to it. I always want the Lord to be able to trust me with what He gives me! I am not saying that this is salvation by works.... No matter how much we do- we aren't saved by our good acts. We are saved through grace. But faith without actions is dead. So the two go hand in hand. I want to be faithful to a faithful God! He is faithful with me, so it should work like every other relationship. And I should return the faithfulness.

Lord, I ask that you speak to each of us! Show us your plan for our lives, give us the boldness to obey no matter what the circumstances are. I ask that if we have forgotten what you have spoken to us that you remind us. Give us the diligence and discipline to build a character that can handle what you want to give us. We are always Yours Lord! We love you. Amen.

Faithfulness & Perfect Timing

2011-05-16T13:12:00.000-05:00

   My heart and mind are full this afternoon. So many thoughts run around in my mind. Thoughts of confusion, thoughts of clarity, thoughts of worry, thoughts of joy..... some things in my life I am so certain about and others I'm praying I've made the right choice. This morning the Lord spoke a promise over me that he's spoken several times over me. "My faithfulness is your shield and rampart." It comes out of Psalm 91:4. At the beginning of the year Pastor Jeff asked the staff to read Psalm 91 every day, I'll admit I've been slacking the past month but this morning I set aside some time and dove into the Word.
   The Lord knows exactly what I need. And Psalm 91:4 was it this morning. His faithfulness is unshakeable. It can't be shaken. Can't be broken. It has no breaking point. He will remain faithful. He has remained faithful. He has done so much for me and you that proves this point. He has never left us. Even when I've run away, when I have turned my back to the whisper of his voice, He was still there. He remained the same.
   A rampart is a defensive wall. The Message translate the verse that His arms are protecting me. It's the truth. I am smashed into the love of my Savior and surrounded by His arms. The arms that hold the universe. I am loved, protected, and watched over.
   I know that no matter what happens in my life, the Lord is my shield and rampart. He will be faithful. Through heartaches, worries of life, times of extreme trust, times of sorrow, and times of joy- He remains faithful. He protects me. He knows what is best for me. Just like a mother knows what is best for their daughter or son, He knows what is best for me. Don't loose hope. Don't loose your trust in Him- He is holding it all together. He withholds nothing good from us!
   One of the things that I love to do is babysit. I get to pretend that I am a mother for just a few hours. I was watching one child once and had heated them up some dinner. Since I am just a pretend mother I didn't microwave it to the perfect temperature. It was a little too hot. So the poor child was forced to stare at me holding their yummy food while it cooled off. I'm sure they were thinking, "Does Bren Bren not think I need the food? I am so hungry. I need that in my life. It will make me full. It will make my tummy stop hurting. Why won't she give me that, it looks so good." But you see, I knew that it was exactly what he needed, but I also knew that if I gave it to him at that moment that it would hurt him. It would burn his tongue. So I waited for it to cool off and then I was able to feed it to him.
   I tell you this for a reason. Don't loose sight of the promises the Lord has given you. He knows the PERFECT timing to give it to you. Yes, it is exactly what you need. Yes, it will propel you into your calling. Yes, it will make your heart skip a beat. Yes, it will be so yummy and awesome. Yes, it will stop your heart from aching. But right now might not be the perfect timing. He has it in His hands. He will release it into your life at the perfect time.

   And until it happens, rest in the fact that his faithfulness is your shield and rampart. Faithfulness. Not going anywhere. It's always there. He is faithful. He will never cheat you. He will never loose sight of His beloved. Rest in that and the worries of the world will drift away. Claim the verse over every worry and step back and watch what the Lord will do.

Parenting 101

2011-05-09T22:54:00.001-05:00

I absolutely can not wait to be a mother. I have said it so many times before and have dreamt of the day. One of the things I do to prepare for motherhood is make a list of the things I want to do with my kids before stressful days of dirty diapers, a 2 page to-do list, a house to clean, and a husband to feed consume my mind. I have a feeling that in that situation I won't think of brilliant parenting ideas.
Another thing that I seem to notice is horrible parenting. Or parenting that drives me nuts. Or kids that don't know how to behave. So.... I have decided to write a blog on my tips on parenting. Sure, I don't have a kid or a husband. And no, I'm not a scholar on parenting. But- I babysit. I watch. I pretend. I notice things. And I have a blog. So I can write it if I want to. :) Hehe.

Parenting 101

-You may spank your child. It is not abuse. Sometimes it is simply what needs to be done. I can clearly point out children that I know are not "spanked" children. It is not abuse. Sure- you don't beat your child. But a nice spanking is not going to kill. Spare the rod.... not a good idea.

- Allow your children to answer questions. If you are constantly answering questions for them they will never learn to communicate.

-Restaurants: Let your child order their food. This is something that they will have to do for the rest of their life. At the age of 5 if something was wrong with my hamburger my mom told me to go to the counter to get it fixed. I now know how to deal with the public, with restaurants, with managers, and with people. I can answer if I want Coca Cola (duh) or sweet tea. I think your child can as well.

-If you are worried that they will order the most expensive items- give them a budget. Look at the menu before hand... decide an appropriate price and tell them that they have 8 dollars to spend tonight, tip included. This teaches them to spend within their means and whenever they are 20 they won't cut their server dry on a tip because they can't plan out beforehand.

-Allow them to make decisions. Even if you know they will fail. If they always succeed- what are they going to do when they go to college or get in the real world. Making mistakes is part of life- they must learn to deal with them.

-If your child falls- it will be okay. Allow them to get up themselves without having you hovering over them.

-They can wait for juice if you are in the middle of a conversation. If you meet every want that they have at that instant moment you are raising NOW monsters. And at the age of 16 that isn't going to be pretty.

-Get creative with your discipline. Parent like Jesus parents. Not out of fear. (this comes from a Kris Vallotin teaching) You don't want your kids scared of every thing they do. Allow them to make mistakes but also give them options. Example: "I would like you to set the table, if you choose not to you can sit i your room while the rest of the family eats." This teaches your child to think of how they can prepare in life. If they set the table... then they will have something to eat their food on. And FOLLOW THROUGH. Don't give them food an hour after dinner. (Once again, this isn't abuse. They can miss a meal. It's like fasting. It's biblical.)

-Parent is teamwork. Mom back your husband up. Dad, back your wife up. Even if you don't agree at the moment. If they know that Mom and Dad mean business and Dad won't get them out of trouble then they will be less likely to do "wrong". They also will respect the two parents for having each others backs.

-Take your child on dates. Real ones. Let them get dressed up... clean up the truck... dress up... and treat them nice. Reward them for good grades.

-Teach your child to make "inside out decisions". To decide to do right because that is what their heart knows to do. Or what the Holy Spirit says.

-Communicate with your children. Let them know your expectations. Encourage them. Love them

-Hug your child. Tell them you love them.

-If you have to buy your child something everytime you go to WalMart.... not a good idea. What are ya gonna do when your in carlots? Think of the future. They need to be behave because it's the right thing/ what mom needs/ etc, etc.

-Read One Minute Mom .... my mother read it.... and wished she had it when we were younger. All 3 children love our mom and dad and respect them incredibly much. We can sit down and have dinner without yelling and without hating it. I look forward to spending time with them.

-Invest in your child without spoiling. It is perfectly okay for your child to pay for their own gas, have a job at 16, and pay for their own college. They will appreciate it. Don't spoil your child. Doesn't matter how much money you have. They will have to know how to manage money in the future and if you bail them out every time....... how will they know? It's okay for them to have overdraft fees..... let them figure out how to fix it.

-Stop arguing with your spouse. You expect your children to get a long and not fight... but you sit and fight with your spouse, say hateful things, don't encourage, and totally disrespect them. Lead by example.

-Find out their love language and feed it. :) http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

-Let them clean their own room. Seriously, why are you cleaning it? That's ridiculous. Same with laundry. These are things they WILL have to do on their own.

-Give them a bedtime so you can have time with your spouse.

-Date night. This teaches your child that he/she will be okay without mommy or daddy all of the time. And shows the importance of your spouse in your life.

-There are times to be a parent and times to be a friend. Most of the time.... you need to be a parent. They have friends at school.

-Order of priorities: 1. God 2. Spouse 3. Children
My mother will still choose spending time with my dad over me. She still makes time for me but I know that if they have date night- they are going, alone. This does not hurt my feelings. This makes me feel secure because I know my parents will not get a divorce. Your child is petrified of you divorcing your husband or wife. Don't do it. Not fair to children. You took a vow... find your passion with your spouse and make it work. Love is a choice.

-Don't yell at your spouse. This teaches that yelling is an appropriate form of communication.

-LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. Lead in love. Serve with your child. And by golly- get em in church. :)

Yay! If you made it to the end of the list. I congratulate you. I wish I could apologize if I offended you... but I won't. Because sometimes the truth is what we need to hear. We aren't perfect. I guarantee I'm going to need to re-read my own blog once I have my own precious children. And if you're offended.... it might mean because you need to tweak some ideas on parenting. I love you. I love your kids. I can't wait for me to read a young woman's blog on parenting who doesn't have kids some day. It shall be a taste of my own medicine. And medicine it is..... might actually. help me out.

Insignificant Purpose.

2011-05-01T17:18:00.000-05:00

I am to a point in my life where I'm ready for things to be worth it. I'm so tired of pointless homework, meetings, relationships, etc. Everything that I do- I want to have purpose. I write this as I sit in Panera Bread procrastinating homework. I know that the way I handle my homework will correlate into how I handle other responsibilities in my life. However, I am still ready for them to have purpose! Most of my homework assignments have purpose... the specific one I'm not doing right now... does not.
   I'm not 100% positive on how to get to the place where things are significant. And I should probably smack my hand and correct my thoughts.... because what I do today does have purpose. The way I handle the seemingly "insignificant" things in my life right now- builds discipline and character for the things I will handle in the future. Press on brothers and sisters. For there will be a rainy day when I'm watching my kids and being the wife that I am called to be when I'll look back and be thankful that I was obedient today for the things God is calling me into.
   How you handle today will be a building block on how you handle tomorrow. Deal with today's problems with diligence.... Prepare yourself today for the things you'll face tomorrow.

   And the life I dream of will come.... the life that only the Lord could bless me with.... is in the making. It's in the building process. The foundation is being laid..... I'd never want a house without a foundation just like I'd never want a family, husband, relationships, job, and other things the Lord will bring into my life wihtout a strong enough foundation (character, determination, will-power, wisdom, etc) to support it.

Build a foundation today..... even with the things that seem so meaningless and insignificant.

Learning. Receiving. Ministry.

2011-04-27T16:27:00.000-05:00

I just posted a status on facebook and decided that I had more to say on the subject. I get so frustrated with people that can not receive from others. This is probably because I struggle with receiving from others, but with that being said, I'm working on it. My goal in every church I walk in to, every time I spend time with someone, is to learn something from them. I want to be able to be ministered to just as much as I minister to others. We all need time to connect with God. We must spend time in intimacy with the Lord. Intimacy produces fruit. And anything healthy grows. We must spend time with the Lord and with others to be healthy.
   Many times whenever we are super involved in ministry we get so involved in the doing. The to-do lists, what isn't going right, what needs to be fixed, what we need to work on- that we totally view the church as a workplace. Subconciously we come in the doors ignoring the fact that we are stepping on holy ground, that we are entering into the house of the Lord.
   If you are a worship leader- can you go to a church service and worship under someone else's leadership? Same as a pastor? Any ministry that you are in... can you be under someone else's leadership? Are you always the teacher on the subject or do you learn from others? Are you the only one you can hear from? Of course, we test everything Biblically. But allow yourself to sit in the presence of the Lord.
   Have we also become so overwhelmed with ourselves that we aren't even listening to the Lord's input on our ministries? Do we seek His face for where we are in leadership? Or can we get past our great ideas, strategic planning, and overthinked strategies? We must always be able to learn from the Lord. To receive correction from our Savior. Just like a parent- Our Papa God will always encourage us, but there is also a time for correction in our walk with the Lord. And..... it is okay! It's totally fine to be corrected by our Savior. And if you obey him and change- that shows that you are able to hear God on not only the great things but also on the things that are difficult to change.

So how do we get to this place? Where we can be ministered to just as much, if not more, as we minister to others. Practically..... You can develop a group of close friends that can speak into your life, and not ones that are scared of offending you. But friends that will be a friend and speak truth into your life. And when you step into the house of the Lord don't forget that you are on holy ground. Love on Jesus and allow Jesus to love on you. Make a list of things you are working on. One of the top things that is on my list is this: Learn from everyone. Love while learning. Love learning.

A Preview of My Book...

2011-04-15T00:38:00.001-05:00

As I write these very words I think about my husband. It’s pretty often that the subject of love and relationships are brought up in my everyday life. I work with the public and many of them ask about my purity ring when I hand them their change. Or they want to know a little about my life and ask if I have a boyfriend. And for some reason I get nervous. I suppose it’s because I think that they won’t think I am “cool” because I’ve really never had a real boyfriend. Granted, I’ve had a few guys I’ve hung out with and spent (too much) time with, but never have I been asked, “Will you be my girlfriend?”. So when I am asked about this subject I almost cower. The other day I found myself doing that very thing, when I checked myself. Turned my attitude around and proudly said, “I’m waiting for my husband.”

There is no shame in your purity. 9.5 times out of 10 after I tell someone that I have never had sex or came close to having sex they react with a great deal of respect. Shock is also normally involved in their response, and some people think I am lying. I urge you, to never, ever, do what I have done; cowering or thinking that you aren’t cool because you are waiting for your husband. You are so beyond awesome for waiting for your future spouse. And if you have messed up, no worries- there is so much grace for you. God loves you and is still proud of you. Stand up, dust yourself off, and stay pure. J

Growing up I always wondered if something was wrong with me. I was the twin that never had the boyfriend. I would be Chelsea’s third wheel so she could hang out with her boyfriend. I would painfully stare out the window longing to be loved. I wondered if I wasn’t pretty enough, funny enough, perfect enough for someone to care about me, to love me, and to think I was awesome. I so deeply wanted someone to text me in the morning and to tell me Good Morning. And I was always so scared that I wasn’t good enough. Today I am so thankful that I was being hidden during those years (and I suppose still am being hidden). I firmly believe that the Lord was hiding me in His arms because He knew my destiny. He knew that one day I would be writing this page to a girl or boy sitting at home wondering if something is wrong with them.

Not only did He know that part of my destiny, but He knew how proud I would be one day telling my husband that I have everything to give him. It’s all his, and I have saved it for him. He knew that my wilderness, singleness experience would make me appreciate, love, and cultivate a marriage one day. Even now, while I am in that same stage- I know that one day I will be so excited that I have a husband. And 10 years into the marriage- I’ll re-read this book and think, “I am so lucky to be married, there is someone out there that is pleading with God for this opportunity.”

Singleness is not a curse. It’s not always fun, but it is not the worse thing in the world. It can be very rewarding if you don’t mope around about it. Choose to have fun in life even when you are single. Don’t worry about being this perfect person so you can catch someone’s eye. Because if you get married, 15 years later- they will know you aren’t perfect. J

Modesty 102

2011-04-07T12:44:00.003-05:00

I kind of can't believe I did this... but here is Modesty 102 with Brennen Gaddis. :)

Believe it or not, I decided to show some examples of my most recent modest and "fashionable" outfits. Being yesterdays and todays. (I never dreamt of claiming myself to be fashionable on a blog that is available for anyone to read.) My intent is not to toot my own horn or to tell you to dress like me. My goal is to inspire you to dress in a modest way that will cause people to look at YOU and not your skin. That's the goal right? In life, I want people to know who I am. How great it would be to be known as the most fashionable, prettiest, and Godliest girl... but when it REALLY all comes down to it... I just want people to know me. Brennen Gaddis. The real me. The girl who laughs at inappropriate things and likes to drink Coca-Cola Classic wayyy too much. So with that being said, don't distract who you are on the inside by what you wear on the outside. Show people the real you and dress with class. Be cute, be funky, be beautiful, but most importantly be you. The you with class and integrity.

Okay, so here we go with Modesty 102!! I have gotten an abundance of feedback from my first post on Modsety.... and it spurred my imagination on. Here are practical tips of how I dress myself. These first 2 images are the same day- in one I simply added a scarf. Scarfs are always a nice & modest touch to outfits, they also help cover up a good amount of skin while being fashionable. This one is a light scarf since it was pretty warm yesterday. (Well, in the beginning of the day.)

Even though I wore a scarf I went a head and layered my oversized black scoop neck t-shirt (Walmart, $5) with a pink camisole. It's a higher rise tank and it also is pretty long. Which is great since I have to bend over at work. I was glad that I went ahead and wore this tank top under my shirt because half way through the day I dropped part of my Italian Chicken sandwich on my scarf. :) This would be an outift that I would be comfortable wearing heels with. Be picky... it's a war out there for the men we pass on the streets.

Layers make life easy... and make modesty easy. Layer, layer, layer. Invest in camisoles. The camisoles that I am wearing in both pictures were under $4. One I bought in Panama so I have no idea what brand it is, and the tan one I bought at Charolette Russe! Forever 21 also has cheaper camis.
Skin tight clothes are not modest. They show every curve of your body and leave men practically undressing you.

Hide your bra straps! This can be a tough one... and sometimes I fail at this... but there is no need for every man you pass to know what color bra you're wearing.

I asked a few guys that go to church with me their thoughts on what women wear. Might I add that these are attractive men of God... I didn't ask geeky guys. ;) These are guys that you'd be extremely blessed to bring home to momma. They are some dearly close friends of mine and have hearts of gold. One agreed that clothes have an affect and added how important it is to not be too revealing.... but the main thing that attracted him to girls is their relationship with the Lord, their laugh, and how their looks. Another one said, "You are worth the pursuit of a man, no one is worth the back burner. And relationships based on competition are not healthy. Don't dress for the world, dress for you, be comfortable with yourself. It's not worth dressing for the world." He also added to not show anything you cover up in front of your parents to any man that isn't your husband. Haha. ;) Another guy added that girls / women who dress inappropriately scandalous look ridiculous. Dress in harmoney with yourself and not try to force anything, style and attractiveness are more an outward symbol of knowing who you are than a physical lure.

When it all comes down to it, modesty is worth it. Your husband will thank you for it. You don't have to show extra skin to get a man. It's possible to do it. You're saving every man you pass each day the battle that lies within them. Protect yourself and protect them. ;) Be encouraged.

Put Some Clothes On

2011-04-03T23:07:00.000-05:00

   The other day I was in a dressing room with 6 dresses. I tried each of them on.... in the appropriate size.... and none of them worked. Why? Because if I bent over the whole world would know what color panties I'd have on. Granted.... if I stood up and did the fingertip rule I would [barely/hardly] pass. But when life would hit me in that dress and I would one day chase a plastic bag in Walmart's parking lot..... or lean down to tie my shoe (Laced shoes and dresses are in style) more of Brennen would be revealed than what is necessary or appropriate.
   The fact of the matter is.... modesty is a difficult way to dress these days. It's almost easiest to cave in wear my dresses a little bit shorter... and my shirts a little bit lower. I mean, what's a little extra skin showing gonna hurt? Let me tell ya...... It's gonna become a battle for a man of God. So beautiful ladies..... take a stand... and put on some dang clothes.

   A few years ago... I didn't care what in the world I wore. I'd run out of the house as quick as I could because I knew my momma wouldn't approve.... but I wanted to be "hot". But somehow, the Lord has placed a passion for modesty, purity, and holiness upon my heart. And I've been silent for far too long. I'm here to say... or write.... Even in 2011 you can dress modestly.
   For what it's worth, I thought I'd share a few tips. :)

Modest is ~~Hottest~~ Gorgeous, Beautiful, and Stunning Class 101:
1. Praise Test in every outfit.
   First.... Lift your hands.... and come on now... lift 'em high. He's worthy right!?
   Second.... Kneel... do every type of kneeling.... Is yo' booty hangin out? How's your shirt.... can you see straight down it!? Watch out!
   Third... Jump a few times... just in case life hits ya today. Does it swoosh and show too much of ya'self?

2. Layer. Invest in a few camisoles that come up pretty high. No cleavage. Cleavage is simply not fair to any man. Men are visual and as Godly as they can be.... you don't want your cleavage to be their stumbling block. You also want camisoles that are longer. So if your shirt comes up your back, side, or belly doesn't show.

3. Dresses.... pick wisely. Don't buy a dress that's too short. It may be the cutest dress there is.... but it's not worth it. You can always add leggings if it's appropriate.

4. Balance. I am not suggesting that you wear a ugly/ out dated clothes, no make up, and the only thing you can see if your face. You can still be absolutely gorgeous without showing tons of skin. If you're shirt scoops down and shows some skin up top (a Godly amount) then pair it with something that covers you up on the bottom. And vis versa... many times if I wear a skirt- I will choose a t-shirt style blouse or a shirt layered with a jacket. It simply balances you out.... and shows that you can tastefully look beautiful.

5. High Heels. Heels can be hott, but they can also be pretty skanky. If you're wearing a skirt that comes a few inches above your knee.... I'm not so sure heels are going to be the best choice. I would wisely choose a pair of flats or cute gladiator sandals. If you're wearing jeans, or a longer skirt.... go for the heels. You can rock a great pair of shoes modestly.

6. Accessorize. I'm not so sure that this is a Modesty tip... but it is a fashion tip. Many times the only modest things I can find are plain items... but it's totally okay if you accessorize yourself. Change it up with your color.... I always try to throw in a surprise accessory that most people wouldn't think would go with it. :) It's like a game!

7. Be you. From head to toe. Don't try to impress men with your skin. Think if what you're wearing is what attracts a man to you... dress for a man that you deserve. If he is only attracted to you for your mini-skirt, cleavage, and long legs.... I'm not so sure he's the Godly man that you desire and deserve.

Men- I apologize for what you go through every day. I can't imagine the inner battle you go through with the way that we dress. I vow to always keep your inner man in mind when I dress. Always making sure that I am dressed modestly and appropriately.

Girls.... be you. That's the best advice I have for you when it comes to life. Be the best you that God created you to be. Dress modestly and wear a smile and some confidence. ;)

Blogging.... about Blogging. Nitty Gritty Truth.

2011-04-03T22:44:00.000-05:00

   As a blogger I sometimes want to just throw my problems out into the world because writing is an escape for me. I want to vent and yell and cry all through my blog with the frustrations of life. I have decided against it. And will continue to. Not because it wouldn't be fun and feel good, but because 1. it's not tasteful, 2. it won't help, and 3. it drives me nuts when other people live their life through social media. So I refuse. But a bad habit that I have developed is not writing what is in my heart- simply because it might step on some toes. What I know as truth, and as black and white, has yet been revealed to some of those around me. (Or they have yet to listen.) I openly admit that I am sure there are some out there that think the same thing about me. And, the best part about it..... it's okay. We're human. We make mistakes. We couldn't be better people if we were already perfect. We have to simply brush ourselves off and get up and try again!
   So, I, Brennen Gaddis, promise to never withhold Godly wisdom or advice because I'm afraid it might step on one's toes. I also promise to not hold back from writing something I'm not an expert on. I have something to offer. Just like every single one of you.

   So be prepared.... my blogs might get a little bit more honest. I might even turn into one of those bloggers that you say, "Did she really write that!?" But... the truth must be revealed. I am a messenger. And a messenger that is learning right along with you. :)

   Modesty, Dating, Marriage, Parenting (I said I wouldn't hold back from writing about something I'm not an expert at.... I forgot to add- not experienced on there as well.) I'm excited to get parts of my heart out there. Even if just one person reads it and is touched.... I have done my part. It excites me to write even this blog. I never imagined I'd write a blog... about writing a blog. :) So fun.

   Hold onto your skinny jeans and grab a Coca-Cola. ;)

The Journey.

2011-03-24T16:07:00.001-05:00

   The other night I was so blessed to watch a few couples be prayed and prophesied over. As I watched one particular couple hold hands, lean on each other, and receive the Lord's word over their life together- tears came to my eyes. Tears of happiness and rejoicing for the most part. But in that quiet part of my heart, I ached for that very scene in my own life. It's what I pray and dream of, it's what I write about, it's what I love. Love. Marriage. 2 individuals living life as one. Selflessness. A Holy Matrimony.
   In that moment, my mind raced back and I could see myself laying in bed on lonely nights and praying for my husband. I saw moments when [it seemed] everyone else had someone to love and I had no one. The moments where I had been overlooked for the superficial girl that wasn't even the real deal. And my heart ached... it ached for that bond I will one day have with my husband. I simply cried out to the Lord that I wanted that but only in His timing. In my little mind, the perfect time for me to meet my husband is in the next 5 minutes, (giving myself time to get myself together).
   But ultimately, The Lord knows the perfect timing. I may not understand it, I'm sure you all could come up with plenty of reasons for me to not get married. Probably the fact that I'm 20 being #1. But I know that He has it all under control. (And 20's a perfect age..... lots 'o babies or lots o' time before having babies!) He's writing a beautiful story for me. One that I will cherrish for years to come. And a story that is a reality. One day I will have a husband to "do life together". To have a family with and to serve Jesus together.
   The whole point of this blog post isn't to share with you my heart for the man God has for me but it is this: The time spent in waiting will only deepen the amount of gratitude I will one day have for what God has given me. Life is not about the end result. It's about everything in between. It's about the journey. And this journey that I am on of preparing myself for my man is beautiful. I'm not always perfect and I will ALWAYS be growing. And I am okay with that. The thing to remember is that waiting may not be fun, but it's worth it. Every moment of waiting is worth it if you're waiting for what God has for you.

   Be encouraged. Love your season of waiting. I don't love it yet.... but I'm at least beginning to like it. ;)

What is Sizing You Up?

2011-03-21T09:36:00.000-05:00

   This (crazy) woman has a pet boa constrictor. A snake that she absolutely loves. Loves so much that it sleeps with her at night. She noticed that he hadn't been eating for a while and that when he was sleeping he was sleeping in a straight line, when he normally slept curled up in ball. She decided to call her vet and ask him about it. As she tells him all of this he immediately says to get rid of the snake as soon as possible. Come to find out..... The snake had been fasting so he could save enough space to eat his owner. He had been sleeping straight up and down because he was sizing up his owner. And when he reached a certain length then he knew that he had enough space to eat her.
   Pretty dang gross right? I absolutely hate snakes, so I really hate this story. I thought about doing some research to find out more about this "sizing up" thing that they do, but refrained because I knew I'd have nightmares, and constantly be on the snake look out! However, I couldn't get this story out of my mind for quite a while. Because it floors me that the woman would sleep with a snake. That is ridiculous. As I began to think on this it hit me that we do the same things.
   We allow things in our life that can potentially harm or kill us. Addictions, ungodly relationships, ungodly habits and behaviors, etc. We know that it isn't what God intended for us- but we go ahead and let it sleep with us, size us up, and give it the opportunity to eat us alive. And that is exactly what sin will do. satan will use every opportunity that we give him to get into our lives. He can manipulate it to where in the beginning "it's not a big deal". The sin is so small that why would it even matter? (Sin always matters, that's a lie. It's from satan so don't listen to that!) But as time passes we get more comfortable with that sin in our life... and it grows... and before you know it, it's just like that boa constrictor. Waiting for the moment to take our life away. Sin is crouching at our door, and we must rule over it (Genesis 4:7).
   So, what do we do with this massive, life-sucking, killing, monster of a sin!?
1. We cut it off. Get rid of it. Give yourself no access to it. This is not a time to show yourself that you can be strong and just say no. No, do not even give yourself the opportunity to get into that area of sin again.
2. Get an accountability partner. It is too easy to go back to the things we are comfortable with. Having someone that will hold you accountable to your decision to go God's way over your own will be extremely helpful.
3. Replace it with something Godly. Find something that you can do for God.
4. Pray against that struggle. It is from satan- therefor it doesn't stand a chance. Rebuke it and replace it with the truth. For example, if you have trouble with body image- rebuke the lie that you aren't pretty. And replace it with "the King is enthralled by my beauty" (Psalm 45:11).
5. Dust yourself off and keep moving. Your past does not define you. You still have an opportunity to be the best you that God created. It's never too late.

   Take a look at your life and ask yourself the question, "What is sizing me up?" or "What am I trapped inside from allowing myself to "sleep" with ungodly harmful things?

I end this post with a quote from Kris Vallotin, "You have not been put on earth for the devil to tormet you, you have been put on this earth to torment the devil."

Blog Business!

2011-03-10T15:36:00.000-06:00

My wonderful and faithful blog readers,

Have I told you how much I love you? And how much I appreciate that you take time out of your day to read my thoughts? Because I do. It means the world to me. Which is why I trust you with some advice I need.

One of my dreams is to write. I've had this passion and desire since I was younger but have always watered it down. I remember writing short stories as a child and the teacher always telling me that I had too much in it for a short story. So I quit writing. Well- I'm writing again- and it makes me come alive. I absolutely love it. I love that people understand what I'm saying. I love that I'm able to put into words what is in my heart. So I want to make my dreams come true.

I'm beginning to work on a book about purity. But I also have been encouraged and have been thinking about pursuing writing for a newspaper or a magazine of some sort. I am definitely not the best writer around but I refuse to believe the lie that I have nothing to offer. Because, I do. Just like YOU have something to offer.

I need some help picking out some blogs to edit and send in to a few places. So- let me know what your favorite blog posts are! Also- what would you all like to see me write about? Is there anything that you would like to request me to do/write/ showcase? I am always open to ideas and need your help in being the best writer that I can be.

Also- if you know of a magazine or somewhere that my writing would fit in that I could send in a blog let me know of that to!

There you go lovely people of God! Time to help a girl out achieve her dreams! :) And that girl- just happens to be me! :) I love you all!

You can post your suggestions as a comment or e-mail me at brennen_gaddis@yahoo.com, or facebook me a message! Here's the link to my facebook: http://www.facebook.com/brennengaddis

smile. :)

2011-03-06T18:35:00.000-06:00

Life Lessons with Brennen:
a.k.a.-- a post to quiet my mind.... so much going on in it right now :)

be who you are. pretending or "watering down" yourself does nothing positive

be the best you while doing this, don't make excuses for ungodly behavior by saying "this is how I am", be Godly and be who God's called you to be.

love people limitlessly. give them grace. if you are wrong in being frustrated/angry- make it right.
show and demonstrate mercy.
cute clothes really do make a difference in your day
stay thankful for the things in your life

win. win. situations- in every aspect of your life

try new things. try things you aren't good at. it's always fun learning about it.
find the unique things about people and help bring it out of them. encourage uniqueness.
smile. there is nothing better than the feeling of a true and genuine smile on your face.
have fun in life. there's a time and place for everything. immaturity can be allowed sometimes ;)
take time to invest in people's lives. get to know them.
talk less than other people. (I need this written so I see it all the time)
live out your passions. if you find something that makes you come alive- don't abandon it.
love yourself and who God is molding you into

God is so beyond amazing. I am so glad that hope and peace are a part of my day. I am so thankful for what God is doing and am beyond excited for the things to come.

I love Jesus. Yes, I do. I love Jesus. How about you?

Not Noticed.

2011-02-26T11:34:00.000-06:00

   I have this new obsession. And it truly is an obsession. One Tree Hill. It's a tv show that has been airing for quite some time. I am not very good at watching shows every week and planning my schedule around it. (I think it's a good thing.) However, my friend has loaned me the entire seasons. So that makes it easy to escape and spend hours watching this show. At the point of the show I am in, they are in high school. And boy, does it make me want to go back to high school.
   That's a big statement for me to say. But really, if I could, I 'd go back at least for a week. And I would eat lunch with the ones who have been left out. I would walk down the hallway with the young man who always gets made fun of, and I'd get to know the slightly awkward girl who never speaks. I would make a difference.
   When I was in high school, I was wrapped up in how much I hated it that I didn't even look to see what I could do to make it better for someone else. There are students and people that go to school and work who despise their lives. Who go unnoticed. Who miss school for weeks and no one ever notices. They live with pain and depression. And why didn't I do anything about it!? Why don't I do something about it?
   I don't have to be in high school to change someone's life. There are still lonely people. I want to find them. And I want to love them. Why? Because that's what life is about. Life isn't about the coolest new trend, or having the coolest things..... Life is about making a difference. It's about sharing Jesus' love.
   I hate to admit it, but I'm not sharing His love these days. I'm in my safe "clique" of Christian friends, I've lost my heart for the lost, broken, and down-hearted. But through a television show, the Lord has opened my eyes to them once again. I sat on my couch and cried for them yesterday in shame. Because my heart had never heart for them like that in way too long. My heart is in process of being broken. Broken for the things it should be broken for. And for that, I am not ashamed.
   Life isn't about me, life is about Jesus and the hurting. Make a difference. Begin today.

Isaiah 58 says it best, ⁶ “Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:

to loose the chains of injustice

and untie the cords of the yoke,

to set the oppressed free

and break every yoke?

^{⁷ Is it not to share your food with the hungry}

and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—

when you see the naked, to clothe them,

and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?

^{⁸ Then your light will break forth like the dawn,}

and your healing will quickly appear;

then your righteousness^[a] will go before you,

and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.

^{⁹ Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;}

you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.

Guest Blogger.

2011-02-22T00:08:00.000-06:00

Steven Furtick: Dating And Relationships
Check out that link for a good blog on dating and realtionships.

:)

vulnerable.

2011-02-15T12:56:00.003-06:00

It's easier to post about the good things in life than it is the hard things. The things I struggle with, the things I live in fear about. The areas of my life that are still being worked on and pruned. The next part of this blog has been written for about a week, and I've tried to post it and have struggled with if it's okay. Well, I've come to the conclusion, it is okay. Because, I am a real person, with real feelings, and with real struggles. I don't have it all together, I am still figuring it out.

Part of life is growth. Part of growth is knowing what you need to work on and move towards getting better. I've ignored these things for quite some time, but that does nothing good. Identifying is much better than ignoring. Don't let it grow. Identify your fears, and conquer them. One by one. Step by step.

As you read these things that I struggle with, I pray that you don't try to fix me, but that you accept me for who I am and that maybe somehow I've given you the courage to pinpoint the things in your life that you are scared of and the things that you need to work on. And from there.... we move forward.

I am scared of...
-not being needed
-not being pretty enough
-not being a good friend
-not being able to quit drinking cokes ever
-stumping my toe
-someone attacking me
-getting in a car wreck
-not being able to have children
-not being respected because I am young

I need to work on...
-loving others when they don't "deserve" to be loved according to world standards
-having patience that God REALLY does have perfect timing
-believing when people say they will do something, that they will
-forgiving them when they don't
-telling others how much I appreciate them
-giving more in time, money, and spirit
-loving myself for who I am
-trusting others

2 Timothy 1:7 For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.

Maybe my next post will be about my strengths. :)

Stumped Toes & Running into Doors

2011-02-14T12:03:00.000-06:00

   One of the things that I seem to do is run into half opened doors, or stump my toe on a piece of furniture that has always been in that exact spot. Another thing is at my house I have to park on the street, most times I have to turn my car around at the end of the street so I can park on the same side of the street that my house is on. So I go to the end and do a U turn. There are hardly ever any cars on the street I intersect with my turnaround, so I always just stop and go. One day, I stopped and started to pull out and realized that I didn't even look to see if there's a car coming. Don't worry I didn't wreck, I just had to stop abruptly. I had made a habit in my mind that I never have to REALLY stop at that stop sign.
   There are small things in our life that are so normal to us that we don't ever stop to make sure that God is speaking to us about it. For example, with the doors, most of the time the doors I run into are typically never closed, so when they are my mind doesn't register in enough time that it's not open all the way. And then, BAM, I run into it. There are things in our life that have been normal and on schedule that God wants to speak to us about. Or wants to close that part of our life, but we have gotten so used to it that it's become second nature. When God is saying, "Brennen! Wake up, that's not good enough for you any more. Let it go!" "Brennen, you are called to live a life of holiness- that isn't cutting it! Cut it out of your life." "Brennen, proceed with caution, stop and be aware of your surroundings!" "Beloved, this door is shut, but I have a better one open for you! Pay attention!"
   So what half closed doors are you still running into? Any streets you've failed to proceed with caution in? It's time for me to pay attention to the things in my life that I've left God out of and to listen up.

for all the momma's out there

2011-02-10T16:19:00.000-06:00

   Today, I sat down in my mother's chair at the salon and asked her sweetly to fix my hair. Even though she could have said no and chose to do other things, she said yes. I remember since I was a child that when I would come and interrupt her while she was reading- she would put the book down and stop what she was doing to listen to a (pointless) story. (Unless, she was in the last chapter- then I knew I had to be patient and wait.) Motherhood is a beautiful thing and, I can only image, is one of the hardest jobs on the planet. It takes a lot of sacrifice and putting others before you.
   But then, there is the fun and heart throbbing excitement of pulling the best out of your child. Of saying, "Don't quit, you can do it! You are more than a conquerer" and seeing the hope fill eyes once again. It's the part of motherhood that I am sure never gets old, especially if your child living out the things you see in them. (I know, I say all of this without being a mother, but I've babysit plenty of children, actually am "nannying" this week, and I have some of the best mothers in my life to watch their example. So bear with me.)
   I say all of this to say...... think of Jesus' mother. This morning, I was reading in John 2 where Jesus turns water into wine. But it was His mother that brought it to Jesus' attention that they were out of wine. And then instructed the disciples to listen and obey whatever HER son told them. Sounds like one of those overbearing parents we all know. But how awesome is that, she was able to see what Jesus could do and encourage him in it, and even "pull" it out of him. She believed in her son, had confidence in Him, and wanted to see Him do what He was created to do.
   I am finally to the point in my life of being a daughter, where I realize that, most of the times- momma really does know best. I also know that when she believes in me, I feel much more capable of doing it. When she pushes me to do it, the faith that I have in myself to do it raises.
   So mothers, do your thing. Don't hold back. Encourage and believe in your children. And if you all say to your kiddos are negative things- stop. That is not helping your child. Encourage- tell them what they are good at, tell them what you see in them. They need and want to hear it. Help them accomplish their goals. Push them, and tell everyone else what's up. Be proud of who they are. Even if they aren't who you think they should be- give it time.... they'll come around.

   And if you aren't a mother, be someone's mother that doesn't have one. Step in when they need parental advice. At the age of 20, I do it, so you can to. You are more than a mere conquerer.

   I am sure when the much anticipated day of having my first child with the most handsome husband ever happens- I'll think back to when Jesus' mother called attention to her son. And I am sure- I'll be the most proud mother that there is. Get ready for this proud mother. Until then.... I'll adopt the qualities that I appreciate in my mother for my own life. I'll become a mother- without having a child.

Be Who God Created You to Be

2011-02-07T21:01:00.001-06:00

   Be who God created you to be. This is what God has been speaking directly to my heart this past week. Don't try to be someone else, be who God created you to be. God designed each of us to be different for a reason. We are created uniquely and with our own passions, desires, and personality. Use it for God's glory. Don't try to be something you are not to gain respect, love, or admiration from those around you. This does nothing but set them [and you] up for disappointment. Because, months/ years down the road- they will realize who you really are.
   I have realized that identity crisis is a problem that is rampant in the church world. We don't know who we are. Get to know yourself. You can not be the best friend, husband, wife, daughter, sister, aunt, or cousin that you can be without knowing WHO you are and WHOSE you are. I am on this journey of discovering who I am. Here are some truths that have helped me figure out who I am:

-Don't apologize for the things that you love to do. Own them and do them with your best ability.
-Ask God who You are. Start reading Psalm 119. And search out the scriptures for truths on what God says about His children.
-Try out new things. See if it makes you come alive.... you never know if you don't try.
-Work on making the things you are good at the thing you are BEST at. Never quit learning what you love to do.
-Ask those closest to you what they see in you. And be able to handle the advice that they give you.
-Choose to work on the things you aren't good at that you should be good at. (For example: I have to become good at receiving correction and on forgiveness.) Biblical qualities- work on those. Ya' can't go wrong with that.
-Go after the things that God calls you to. You will be walking in His will and His purpose- becoming the person that God created you to be.
-Know who God is. Get to know Your Savior, allow Him to be the love of Your life, in knowing who He is- you will discover who YOU are!

   I always have struggled with knowing what is my passion.... I have never felt the feeling of "coming alive" when I do something- until the other day. I have always had a strong love for purity and holiness being restored in the church body. But last week, I found my passion. I got the opportunity to talk to a small group of young ladies about remaining sexually pure until your wedding night. And let me tell you what, I CAME ALIVE. I have never felt that heart burning passion while living out something- but I did. And it's amazing! I had to branch out and try it. I knew it was something that I wanted to teach and show others- but I had no idea how much I loved it! Since that night I have had visions and dreams of teaching at large conferences, small groups, youth groups, and one on one mentorships about living a life of purity because you want to- not because you are supposed to! I encourage you to search out and find the things that make you come alive. And when you do, don't abandon it- pursue it and go after it.

   When it all comes down to it. Just be who God created YOU to Be! Be the best YOU that you can be, mold yourself into the best Godly, pure, and holy person that you can be.

I found a website with some scripture on who we are in Christ: Check these out- and read more on the link below!

I have received the gift of righteousness and reign as a king in life by Jesus Christ (Romans 5:17).

I have received the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Jesus, the eyes of my understanding being enlightened (Ephesians 1:17,18).

I have no lack for my God supplies all of my need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19).

I am God’s child⎯for I am born again of the incorruptible seed of the Word of God, which lives and abides forever (I Peter 1:23).

I am God’s workmanship, created in Christ unto good works (Ephesians 2:10). I am a new creature in Christ (II Corinthians 5:17). I am a spirit being⎯alive to God (I Thessalonians 5:23; Romans 6:11).

http://resourcesforchristians.net/downloads/print/whoiam.pdf

Choosing to Choose.

2011-01-24T17:02:00.000-06:00

   There is so much truth to the ol' saying, "Life is what you make it." You will get out of life what you put into it. If you don't pursue life and the source of life then you probably won't like life too much. But when you choose to enjoy life, no matter what the circumstances are, then I bet you love life or are beginning to love life. I am by no means saying that life is bed of roses and nothing is ever hard. No, not at all, I know this by first hand experience. Life is not easy. But you can enjoy it in all circumstances.
   It all comes down to choice. Who you are today was made from a series of choices that you have made. Who you will be tomorrow also will be the outcome of your choices. It is time to quit blaming your troubles on "life". That is demonic and not Godly one bit. That is one step closer to satan than it is to God. Choose to love, give, serve and pursue God. Choose to find something sweet in everything. Choose joy, peace, and patience. What you choose determines your outcome. Choose life, and life in abundance.
   You living a mediocre life doesn't do you any favors. Branch out, live out your dreams, be who God has made you to be. Be intentional. This is the phrase that God has been speaking to me the past month. I need to be intentional. I need to be concious of the things that I choose to do throughout the day. Once again that determines my productivity and the joy that I experience that day.
   When I wake up and I choose to love God, love people, and love life then I am determined that nothing, absolutely nothing, no power of the enemy, no stumped toe, no long line, NOTHING will change that. I choose to have a good day. To have a good life.
   One of the things that Pastor Jeff preaches is Proverbs 27:7- One who is full loathes honey from the comb, but to the hungry even what is bitter tastes sweet. What does this mean? That in every situation you can find something that is sweet. We are to never become cynical and judgmental with nothing being good enough. That means that today when Chelsea brought me my McDonalds (yep, this is after I worked out) that even though it was cold I was still thankful that Chelsea paid for it! It's simply being able to find the good in every situation.
   I know that life does get hard, and that things happen to good people. But God is still God, His word is still sovereign. And He still has the most best plans in the world for you. He desires for you to be prosperous, enjoy life, love Him, serve Him, see and bring people to encounter God's love. You are the head and not the tail. You are highly favored. You have a reason to choose joy. I promise.
   It may be 3 years after something horrible in your life happens where you see the purpose in it all. But for those 3 years- find something, anything and be thankful for it. Thank God. Just think of the things that He HAS protected you from that you don't even know about.

Choose life. Choose Him. Choose joy. Choose peace. Choose happiness. Choose the higher road. Choose serving. Choose giving. Choose loving. Choose life. Choose a happy life. Choose to not loathe the honeycomb. Choose to find something good no matter the circumstances.

It's your choice. ;)

Glorified Body

2011-01-23T00:48:00.000-06:00

   Do you know how much God loves you.... and how much God loves your body? I have been totally "wrecked" today by a message I re-listened to earlier today. I heard it at OneThing this year with iHop and only caught the tail end of the message so I bought it on CD. Allen Hood talks about the Glorified State of Your Body and how much God truly loves your body.
   And in today's society it is a truth that needs to be posted on every billboard, every sign, every commercial, and everywhere! GOD LOVES YOUR BODY. It is so easy to pick and poke at your body. And wish you had this person's belly or that girl's face or her hair... etc. etc. But God designed YOU and HE (The lovely, amazing, mighty Savior) LOVES your body. And He knows every inch of it, and He still loves it. And it pains Him to watch his precious children spend hours in front of a mirror hating their bodies. When all He sees is "beautiful" "glorious" "amazing" "perfect in my eyes" "lovely". We are His beloved. The apple of His eye.
   And if you say, "He doesn't understand... He doesn't live in my body". False! He knows what it's like to be human. And to have growth spurts, and as Allen says, "to have a head that hasn't caught up with it's ears". He understands every season that we are in. He took on flesh. Whoah. Soak that in.

He took on flesh. The creator of the universe.... took on flesh. Humbled himself- and took on flesh.

   I really hope you took a minute and soaked that in, and if you didn't say it out loud. Let that statement process. Of what God did and does for us. And why? Because HE LOVES US.

   He loves every part of us. He cherishes us. Rebuke the lies of the enemies and replace it with truth. Just a few hours after having this truth drilled in my head I asked God, "Am I not pretty enough?" How silly and lame is that? That I actually, out loud, asked God that. I know that I am pretty enough. I know that He thinks I am head over heels, drop dead gorgeous. He looks and admires my beauty. And even typing that statement disturbs my mind. Because who am I to be admired? I AM HIS. The King is enthralled by my beauty. So I am to be admired. I am his daughter. His prize. I am loved and cherished by an AMAZING God. And I can not forget that.

   The same goes for you. You are loved. Cherished. Delighted in. Admired. Loved. Loved. Loved. Loved. Check out that message on iHops website. Super good.

Providing Daddy.

2011-01-20T23:19:00.001-06:00

   One of my favorite things to do is to play cards. Most favorite game is Nertz. A fast paced game of a mix of solitare and suites.... super fun. (If you wanna play- we'll let ya!) And it is best when played with the Kees brothers, my twin, and my mother. We play every few weeks, but I play Nertz on an app on my iPhone. With playing this I have noticed something. Most of the time you notice that you need a card, and that one card will give you a huge play. (Example you need a 6 of hearts to come up in your deck of "flipping cards" since you have a 7 of hearts and 8 of hearts in your 4 playing cards. Then you would get 3 cards out in the community area where everyone plays. )
   So that one card will open up so many opportunities for you and possibly let you get Nertz. When this happens I always hesitate to keep moving in case someone else puts the card out there and I miss it, or whatever. What I have noticed though.... is that sometimes the card you need or a card that might be better is coming up in your hand.... it's on it's way, you just have to keep moving the cards and keep moving forward.

   I hope you are seeing the parallel in your life. Sometimes we want something so bad that is already in our hand. It's right there. It's just coming up. You have to keep moving, keep pressing, and it'll come up. Instead of waiting for someone else to hand it to you, or just standing still scared to move. You have to keep pursuing being intentional in everything that you do. Making progress with every part of your life. And sometimes while we are moving forward someone puts "it" into play. And onward you go. Bam, bam, bam. Life is moving quickly. Just like in life how God will put things in our past that will score us our next "big run". Or He will give us something that will set us up for a big success.

   So many times, I want to get something new instead of getting creative and using what I have and what is right in front of me. But in all reality, God already has "it" coming up.
   Prime example: I've been praying/looking for a desk for my iMac..... the day my iMac came in (which the iMac was also an answered prayer... I did not have enough money for it, but God provided), God provided me with a desk..... for free. Not only that.... but a free meal to go along with it. And I forgot the desk lamp and chair. God is good. He provides.

It's all in His plan, beloved. He's got it all under control. Live out your life with God first and you are the apple of His eye. He takes care of His children. He sees your needs. He sees your wants. He desires to fill both. He is a gooood, goooood daddy.

24 Hour Prayer Round 2!

2011-01-14T11:32:00.000-06:00

Ahh, once again Metro is having their 24 Hour Prayer Event. I began the morning at 6am. The presence of the Lord is so refreshing. I absolutely love the simplicity and pureness in this movement. I love hearing people's visions for a prayer movement. I love the excitement that it brings. It brings people to realize that prayer is exciting. Prayer is worth it. Prayer works. And that is the truth.
Prayer moves things, what happens that instant is demonic forces are demolished. Prayer shifts things. We win everytime we pray. Every single time. Our prayers aren't always answered at that moment, or that day...... but maybe they were answered in some way that we can't see yet. Time will reveal. Wait it out, God has a great and mighty plan for You. He will see to it that everything is done in perfect timing. He's never late.

Prayer brings life.

Living in Faith.

2011-01-08T13:36:00.000-06:00

Raise your expectations. Step out in faith. If you can determine the outcome then I ask if you are truly trusting and relying on God. There has to be an unknown factor in living for God. That's where true faith comes in. When we don't know what's going to happen, or how it's going to happen- that is when God has the freedom to move and work in miraculous ways. We have to allow the Lord to be Lord over our lives... to let him move in our lives. But if we only live in the box of what we can do and what we can control.... then perhaps we are lord of our lives. Time for a bigger box where I don't know how it's all going to come together.

Hebrews 11:1

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

A Man of His Word.

2011-01-06T11:07:00.000-06:00

   Who am I to question God and His plans for my life? I do it wayyyyy to often. "Are you sure you want me to give this up?" "You want me to pray for them.... IN PUBLIC?! are You crazy?" "This way? You sure?" "You want me to decide!? You do know who I am right?" These are just a few examples of the dialogue in my head between God and me. He usually responds in "Yes, do what I just asked of you."
   So why do I have such a hard time obeying and doing and trusting God with it? This morning the Lord lead me to read John 4... towards the end of the chapter a man begs Jesus to come home with him to heal His son.... Jesus responds, "Go, Your son is healed." And at that moment the son was healed. The father didn't see that his son had been healed until he obeyed Jesus and returned home to check on him. There wasn't facetime or sms text messaging for him to double check with before he walked home. He had to take a step of faith and walk home and trust that the Lord had healed him even from being miles away.
   The thing is, at the spoken word of Jesus- it happens. He is a man of His word. Pun intended. He does what He says He will do, He will fulfill every promise made in the Bible- word of God, and every promise that He has made to You. He is a man of His word. I can trust Him. YOU CAN TRUST HIM.
   In today's time- it's hard to find people that you can trust. But you can trust Jesus. You can trust the Lord of Your life. He has everything at kingdom view. With our carnal eyes we only see the now.... sometimes we have to step out in faith. And sometimes the Lord will give us a glimpse of His viewpoint. But He wants us to trust Him. He wants us to obey so He can do what He promised us no matter what our view is.
   His ways are higher than my ways. And His thoughts are higher than my thoughts. So who am I to think that my thought/idea is better than his? Step out and obey what the Lord has asked of you. It more than likely is an answered prayer from either you or someone else. :)

Enjoy the Walk

2010-12-22T23:52:00.001-06:00

   You are living someone else's dream. I'm almost positive of it. So don't take where you are for granted. I am the absolute worst at this. I am a dreamer. I am constantly thinking about the next thing. But- someone is wanting to be where I'm at, and I bet where you are. They want to work at the coolest coffeeshop in town and be a badbooty barista. And when I start school- there is someone that is going to want to be pursuing their passion at the Art Institute.
   If you are a mom- and you feel disgusting and think all you ever do is wipe snotty noses and poopy bootys- I want to be you! :) And I'm sure someone else does to. Or if you are a wife- and you are walking all over your husband..... step back. Because someone else is wanting to be you. They want a husband to love and cherish. Even if you are eating out of a garbage can behind a restraunt. I bet someone just wants a trashcan with food in it. Or someone wants a trashcan. It's so simple.... but it's so true.
   So- do whatever you are doing right now- with your whole heart. Do it with excellence.

   God has totally been dealing with me about it. He wants me to dream. He wants me to go after my passion. He wants me to be fulfilled... but he also wants me to be thankful and to enjoy where I'm at.

God spoke this to me tonight and I want to share it with you:
"Daughter- [son]. I see you. I see your hard work. It doesn't go unnoticed. I love you. I want you to have an upgrade, I want you to have that promotion. But don't rush it. In due time. I promise- I'm never late... I'm on time. Pursue your passions.... walk into the things I'm giving you, but please, beloved, enjoy the walk."

Enjoy today. It's so easy to get caught up in the little things. Trust me, that is what brought me to the point of writing this. I'm a mess... I get so caught up in the things that mean nothing... and all God wants me to do is enjoy today. To look at today's blessings... and move forward.

My Top 5 Ways of "Enjoying the Walk":
1. Stay thankful. Thank God throughout the day for the little things. Ex: a front row parking spot, a cold Coca Cola, or that you are alive.
2. Find beauty. In everything- there is something beautiful. If there isn't- you probably shouldn't be in that place anyways. But- in most every place/ situation there is something that is beautiful. Find it and enjoy it.
3. Smile. It's contagious.
4. Look forward to tomorrow. Set goals- and achieve them. Move forward.
5. Help someone else enjoy their walk, or to step into their calling. It's not all about "me" all the time. Do something little or something big for someone. They will appreciate it.

Generations.

2010-12-18T00:30:00.000-06:00

   I love it when God refreshes me. Especially when he revives a passion that I have forgotten about. He chose this week to do it once again. I have this vision/dream of several generations of people coming together to pour into each others lives. Like a line of mentors and mentorees.
   Here's why I love this idea. Everyone wants someone to believe in them. If you say that you don't, I bet you're lying. We all desire and crave people to tell us we are on the right track, encourage us to push forward, and someone to believe our wildest dreams/goals with us.
   With that being said- I also believe that Godly wisdom is so key in this process. I have a young girl that I mentor. (I have not been doing a good job at all lately. Lili- coffee date asap) But- what I have found is that when Lili and I go to have coffee- I end up learning much more than I could ever teach her. She is 15 (maybe 14) years old, beautiful inside and out, full of life, and has a knock out voice. And as she tells me her struggles, her goals, her strengths- I learn from her. I absolutely love her pureness of heart. She is not jaded. She's true to herself and to others. And she lives her life like that.
   But- there are some things that come up (or that will come up) that I don't know the answer to- and that's where my vision gets it heartbeat. If you have a set of women or men at these ages: 15, 25, 35, 45, 55, 65, 75, 85, etc. Think of everything that you could learn just talking about one subject. It's amazing!
   I believe that some time in my life I will see this plan in action. And I hope to be right in the middle of it- at any of those ages! We can all learn from each other. At the age of 20- I need some wisdom on how to handle my finances from someone in their 80's.... and I can learn about the newest technological way to do them with someone in their 20's. I want to learn from people that are older and younger than me. I want to teach people that are older and people that are younger than me things so they don't have to go through them.

   Ultimately, I just want someone to believe in me. Someone to think I can do it. Someone to kick my butt when I'm slacking. And someone to drink coffee with every now and then. ;)

Fun Alone.

2010-12-13T16:50:00.000-06:00

Snow day bliss. I'm not even in school- but I did get a snow day today. We closed the coffeeshop so I have been enjoying a day of nothing. Literally. I'll be totally honest- It's 4:30pm and I'm still in my pajamas. I've watched 2 movies and some tv. And have had a coca cola classic by my side. (I'm horrible at not drinking cokes when I say I'm not going to do it.) It's been great. When I first woke up and realized that I didn't have anything to do- I started getting a little sad- because I wanted to do something. I wanted to be with friends- playing in the snow. But then I changed my mind. I decided it was time I had fun by myself.
Yep, it is possible to do it. And I have had a BLAST today all by myself. After the second movie- I started craving ChexMix.... not the kind you get out of the bag- but the real deal- baked in my own oven Chex Mix. So that's what I did. I documented the entire process with my cool camera app:

Not only did I make Chex Mix.... but I also made "Muddy Buddies" Looking at the recipes on the box- I decided to try it out.... YUMMMMMY.

And I have had so much fun. I found myself smiling and enjoying myself. I even cleaned up after myself ( mom, aren't you proud). I found myself lost in Brennen land and loving every bit of it. And I think it was a healthy- good- and needed day. We all need time where we enjoy ourselves. We have to do something that makes us come alive. Or if we are so busy- and have lots on our minds- then we need to escape and get lost in a movie. (or 2, and I'm sure 2 more later tonight).

The thing is, God is soo good. After I made all of this yummy snack food I found myself in the Word. Soaking up who God is and realizing his love for me. He delights in me. He is enthralled by my beauty. He honors me. He LOVES me. And He loves YOU as well. God will do the things that he has promised you. He wants you to be happy and fulfilled. He wants your desires to be filled- and he wants your love. He gets jealous when you don't love Him. He paints the most beautiful pictures for you. He has the bestest plan out there for you. And He wants you to be the best you out there. If your name is John- then be the best John. If your name is Suzy- then be the best Suzy. My name is Brennen and I want to be the best Brennen. And today- I've enjoyed me, myself and Brennen.

Brennen, It's Time for a Pep Talk!

2010-12-09T22:28:00.001-06:00

   I am a note taker. I have to write stuff down to remember it. I have to write stuff down to process it. If I don't write it down.... it's trouble. Pastor Jeff has some powerful messages... the revelations God downloads into him are noteworthy. But the note that I have written on top of my papers these past few weeks during the sermon has been this: Brennen- Get your stuff together!
   What's funny is that a couple of months ago I was telling my mom I wanted to slap some people and them them to get their crap together. And now- I want to slap myself and say, "Get it together!" But in reality, it's tough getting it together. It's a conscious decision that has to be made. And you have to continue to make it until it becomes a habit.
   I struggle with time management and prioritizing. Sometimes I put sleep, myself, my fleshly desires to come before God. I'd rather get the extra 30/45 minutes of sleep instead of getting up and getting my mind renewed with God. Or, I'd rather do absolutely nothing on facebook at night than get things accomplished. So, Brennen- it's time to get your time management together!
   I also have a dominating personality. I absolutely hate it when I come home from hanging out with people and thinking, "You dominated that whole conversation, you didn't even let anyone speak." So Brennen, it's time to get your listening skills on and let some people talk.
   Pastor Jeff gave a message tonight that spoke directly to my heart. It was all about getting your stuff together. He had great points. (Godly spin on the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People). You have to be deliberate about it. You have to live intentionally or life will pass right by you and before you know it- you have gray hair and your sitting on a rocking chair saying "what the heck did I do with my life!?" I have NO desire to do that! I want to have gray hair, sit on a rocking chair (with my smokin' hot [old] husband, talking about how great God moved in my life and how He is still moving.
   So Brennen, it's time to get intentional. I have to give myself pep talks. I'm glad you could join this one. :)

Whispers.

2010-12-05T23:39:00.002-06:00

I love when God whispers to the very depths of my hearts. It's not audible... but I like that it isn't audible. It's spoken straight to my heart so my ears don't even have to hear it. It's just a knowing voice. When God whispers into my heart I know it's Him. And tonight He whispered one of the sweetest, life altering things to me.
   Tonight at Metro our worship came to a point where we could feel the love of God. Adam told us to ask God two questions: 1. What were You thinking when You made me? and How much do You love me? God answered me very quickly with, "You are worthy." The reality of what God spoke to me didn't hit me until I was getting ready for bed. When God spoke it to me, I questioned it and thought that I was praying it to God.... but no. God was/is telling me that I am worth it. That YOU are worth it. He loves me and He loves you more than we can comprehend.
   In Matthew 10:31 He tells us that we are worth more than many sparrows. Our God is so in love with us. He absolutely, positively, head over heals in love with us. Know what YOU are worth to God. Know how much He loves you, how proud He is of you, how beautiful He thinks you are. [Shabbbba!]
   God sings a new song over me and over you. His mercies are new every morning.... so if you messed up last night- it's all good, you're covered for tomorrow! :) (And covered for tonight...) God's grace and love is so BIG. He's not mad at you. He LOVES you. HE LOVES ME!

The thing is- before I asked God this- I got scared.... a fear of rejection came over me.... which is crazy. Because I was asking the Lord of creation and I've known and have been taught about God's love for my entire life- so I should KNOW that the Lord is not going to reject me.... but the fear still came over me. The thing is, fear is not from God. Satan does not want you to know how much you are worth. Because when you know how much you are worth you shake things up. You change culture, you change the world.

So push through the fear- and ask God... What were you thinking when you made me? and How much do you love me? And then- go watch this video on Kim Walker's encounter with this.

Embrace Your Greatness: Adam Kees

2010-12-05T00:04:00.000-06:00

Here's a FABULOUS blog post from a friend, Adam Kees, click here for more of his blog posts.

Embrace Your Greatness!

If you have the audacity to embrace the greatness put in you, people are going to mock you.They will scoff, they will laugh. They will tell you that you can’t do it, they will tell you that you are crazy. They will try anything to keep you from pushing past the norm into that magnificent place where your talents and giftings collide with the power of Throneroom blessing.

Your Creator, Our God in Heaven, has put things in you that you are passionate about. It doesn’t matter if that passion is in the vein of the usual “churchy” gifts; i.e. teaching, preaching, music, mission work, etc. It doesn’t matter if it’s something that people haven’t traditionally used to glorify God. Your love for fixing cars, designing clothes, flipping houses, politics, pet grooming, business, fitness, cooking, or whatever else has been put in you by God. If the Bible is not telling you it's sinful, then it's probably from Heaven :)

You know it’s your passion because the way it makes you feel alive, the way it moves your heart in a way hardly anything else can. That feeling is what makes your passion special.You already have an inherent drive and motivation to do these things, and do them well, because it’s what you naturally get pleasure from. It’s easy to do things you enjoy!

It’s also that zeal which will cause people to take notice. Bill Johnson, the lead pastor ofBethel Church in Redding, California, says, “When I live out of discipline, I am admired; when I live out of passion, I am contagious.” Everybody can tell when you are doing something you love. It’s obvious. When you talk about what you’re doing your eyes light up, there is excitement in your voice, and nobody can get you to shut up about it :) It’s infectious. Sometimes I’ll get excited with you just from listening—even when it’s an area I could care less about!

So what is your passion? And why aren’t you living it out? I don’t care how normal (or unorthodox) you think your passion is, if you purpose it in your heart to live it out and line it up with the Word of God to bring glory to the Father, you can be an earth shaker. A business mogul. A fashion icon. A TV fitness guru. A sold-out, Spirit-filled, President of the United States of America.

Don’t let those that laugh at you keep you from your pursuit. Let’s be real: most of them don’t want you to go after your dreams because they are sitting around not pursuing theirs.The prospect of you doing something you love and wildly succeeding at it makes them uncomfortable…and maybe even a little jealous. If they’ve given up on their dreams, or bought into the lie that says they are insignificant and can’t possibly make a difference in this world, then you going after your passions just might get them all kinds of messed up.

You have to be ok with the fact that a lot of people are going to hope you don’t succeed.You have to know from the start that when you embrace the greatness that lies within you that people who have settled for average will oftentimes try to convince you to settle for average as well. On the one hand, as referenced above, your passion is contagious; on the other hand, to some people, you are absolutely scary.

* * * * *

I’ve made up my mind that I’m not going to maintain mediocrity so that I can keep other people feeling comfortable. Does that decision ruffle some feathers? Yes. Does it damage some relationships? Unfortunately, yes. But that decision also unleashes the potential for greatness to flow out of me. It’s a decision that’s well worth the cost. I hope you join me.

Forms=nofun

2010-12-05T00:01:00.000-06:00

I really don't want you all to have a heart attack.... but I'm just gonna tell you what's up.... I applied for school. I know! I can't believe it either.... I have no idea if I'll be accepted OR if I'll be able to afford it..... but that brings me to the reason of my post. Forms. I am horrible at filling out fafsa, and scholarships, and things like that.... absolutely horrible. And I despise it on top of that...
But sometimes, you just have to do what you don't want to do. It may help in the long run. (Fafsa is a bad example- because.... even though I am a "good girl", made good grades, never drank, never had sex, never whatever.... It's difficult for me to get financial aid.. Which is crap and ticks me off... because I'm actually serious about it... not just wasting the governments money.) Okay, ranting aside..... God will provide if this is what He wants me to do.
I don't know what you've had to do in the past weeks that you haven't enjoyed- but I sympathize with you! I'm sorry you had to do it.... I'm sure it was as dreadful as me filling out Fafsa.... but I'm praying that goodness, favor, and endless opportunities comes from us doing what we don't like to do sometimes.

Life- it's a rollercoaster. I've learned to embrace it. I'm about to post a post from a friend about pursuing your passions.... be sure to check it out. :)

Freedom in Fire.

2010-11-29T11:06:00.000-06:00

This morning I have been playing pretend mommy but with 3 (real) sweet kiddos (also known as babysitting). As I was waiting for them to wake up I got out my bible and asked the Lord where He wanted me to read. Daniel 3 came to mind and I flipped there. I see the heading, "The Image of Gold and the Fiery Furnace" and I'll admit, I cringed. I'm not much on history, so the Old Testament is hard for me to read.... especially when they start talking about measurements and all these names that I can't pronounce. But I felt like God was going to speak into me through this passage so I read. I honestly couldn't tell you the background without going back and looking it up again.... but the 3 amigos: Shadrach, Meshach and Abedenego got thrown into a fire for standing up for the Lord and not bowing down to the image of gold that King Nebuchadnezzar had set up.
   Yep, I said it..... fire! Thrown into a fiery furnace that got turned up so they would for sure die. The king questioned them and asked them once again to bow down to the image and they said no. The spoke in confidence that God would save them from the fiery furnace. The king was angry with them so the furnace was turned up 7 times higher than the orginal heat. He ordered them to be thrown in (tied up together) The gaurds did as told and took them to the furnace. The gaurds that threw them in didn't survive because of the heat........ but the 3 amigos.... walked in freedom. Not tied up. Walking in freedom. When the king looked back he saw 4 men walking in the furnace.
   The Lord had sent an angel. The 3 amigos and an angel hanging in the furnace in complete freedom. This occurance changed the king's life and I'm sure had a huge impact on history. These 3 men changed culture. Even in the midst of fire they were still able to walk in freedom.
   So- no matter what attack is coming against you, whatever you're going through- there is freedom that you can walk in. Choose God. Choose Freedom. It's that simple. Life isn't always easy.... but it's a lot easier to make it through the circumstances with God on your side.
   If God is on Your side, who can be against you? If God is on your side, who can be afraid?

Where the Spirit of the Lord is- there is freedom.

JUSTIFICAsin.

2010-11-26T23:29:00.000-06:00

   Conviction and sinning are not the same thing. You can sin and not have conviction. I've always tried to justify my sin with saying, "Well, I'm just not convicted about that." These past few weeks I've learned that that is a character flaw and that is me being content with living in sin. Which, is no bueno!
   I refuse to live in sin. That is my heart's desire. To be sinless. Granted, I mess up, please do not get me wrong. I am working on quite a few things right now... and I will continually be a work in progress. However, I have come to the realization that sin is sin and God doesn't like it, so I need to stop.
   For example, speeding. Yep. I'm calling myself out. I was on a roll for a while, and I wasn't speeding... but with life getting busier- I'm back in the habit of it. But, it's a law..... so I must obey it. So- if you're riding with me in the car- please feel free to call me out on speeding. ;)
   I/ we must get to the place in our lives where we don't go off of conviction, but we go off of the heart of God. If it is not pleasing to God then I must not do it, regardless of if I feel bad about it. My jealous heart must quit being jealous. Jealousy is not of God... so it shouldn't be of me. I must be faithful with the little things in my life so that I can handle the big things.

   I don't know if that made sense to you........ or it may have just been a rant........ but it's something that has been so heavy on my heart lately. Justification of sin is a sin. It's a character flaw. And I need to work on it.

My Wish List

2010-11-23T14:59:00.000-06:00

I have some things that I would love to have, some are ridiculous and only by a miracle could I actually own them.. and then some are super easy and doable. Have fun knowing my secret wish list. :)

Hot nails. Fo sho.

iPhone 4....

iPad. it'd be so much easier than carrying my MacBook. dumb, I know.

Yep, nothing but a miracle would get me this. A LV oversized tote purse.... I'm not even into name brand purses, but something about the way it looks, I just like it.

I am into name brand jeans. Some Mek Straight Leg jeans would be awesome.

I'll take a gas card LOADED with this one.

Cute riding boots.

Canon 7D. I need to sell my Nikon.

Cute jacket.

Yummmmmy coca cola.

I think they are cute. And cozy.

And, a Kindle.

Yep, now you know a little more about me and my unrealistic/ and some of them just stupid things that I want. But it's the truth. Love me or leave me.....

<3B

Unseen Things

2010-11-22T11:44:00.000-06:00

   Have you ever been in a position where you do the things that no one sees? And then no one even notices? You do all the behind the scenes work that builds the foundation for someone else to come in and do something that didn't take much preparation and they get all the fame for it. It's no fun. I was having a pity party the other day and a lightbulb went off in my head.
   Think of the things that God does that He doesn't get thanked for. Think of the prayers He answers without a thank you. What about the things He does to protect us. That we aren't even aware of. I believe He does it. I believe that He will save me from some things that should have came into my path but He protects me from it. Or you've heard the stories where a "bad guy" was going to break in a car, or rape a girl in a dark alley when she was walking alone but they didn't because they said someone was there. Perhaps, the Lord sent an angel to protect us from that.
   Sometimes we think that the Lord isn't doing anything for us, or that He isn't answering our prayers. But He is. And sometimes he's protecting you from having to say a prayer. Mind blowing thought, right? We all have something to be thankful for. God is moving inside of you, He is at work in Your life, He sees the things you do in the secret place. He loves you.

Holiness

2010-11-16T16:09:00.000-06:00

A few years ago I read the first chapter of a book that changed my life. I don't remember a certain quote or anything like that in the book read, and I actually just tried to read the first chapter again and got bored with it and put it down. But it changed my life- the concept I learned from that first chapter, changed my life. A call to holiness. (The book is "Holiness" The heart God purifies. by Nancy DeMoss)
A life of mediocracy and just getting by isn't going to cut it. As children of God, we are called to life of holiness. Not perfection, holiness. A life totally devoted to God. God will not call you to something that He won't enable you to do. He is fully capable of empowering you to do His will. As I read through the pages of the book now this quote sticks out- "True holiness is cultivated in the concept of a relationship with God. His love for us moves us to reject all lesser loves and all the fleeting delights sin can offer."

We are called to represent Christ in every aspect of our life. It is the reality of living out this love God has given us from the inside out. Allowing our hearts to be the motivation to "do good things". Not our minds or society that tell us it's the "right" thing. But opening yourself up to a move of God in your life so big that it has to radiate out in a pure and genuine manner.

"And yes, Holiness requires intensity and intentionality!" -Hebrews 12:14

It's a choice that we make. And it's one that brings life and freedom. The decision to choose holiness is a decision that will change your life in the best way possible. I am not a scholar on holiness, in my life I simply try to choose the things that Jesus himself would choose. I'm not perfect, I mess up. But, I'm getting better. And that's the concept. Constantly growing. Constantly moving forward. And constantly being stretched by truth.

The book really isn't that much of a bore- I'm just ancy right now, so pick it up and read it. It'll go more in depth on the topic of holiness. But for now- When you choose purity and holiness you choose freedom.

Purity Brings Freedom.

2010-11-11T12:12:00.000-06:00

One of my biggest passions in life is purity. The other one is holiness. Holiness and purity. I believe as children of the Most High God that we are called to a life that pursues both of these. They are verbs in and of themselves. It's a call to action. I'm going to break this blog into two posts. Today's we'll talk about purity.

This whole week my life has been screaming the word purity at me. Purity in every aspect of my life... not just refraining from sex. Dictionary.com gives this definition: freedom from anything that debases, contaminates, pollutes, etc. Purity is an invitation from God to become like him. In 1 John 3:3 it says, "Everyone who has this hope in him purifies himself, just as he is pure." We are to become like Christ, so we are to purify ourselves. To free ourselves from anything that will pollute it. It's a process. It's a daily decision, and most days its multiple decisions to purify ourselves. It's a chocie to live accoriding to His word. (Psalm 119:9).

One of my focuses is to be pure in heart. I want my life to be a life that is lived out from the inside. I want my insides to be so pure. My thoughts, my desires, my everything- to be pure. This may be extreme, but I firmly believe that purity brings freedom. And I want to live a life of freedom. When I talk to someone and they are sharing their heart with me, I want to genuinely be interested, not faking it till I make it. It's a daily process of checking my heart to see if it's in lines with God's. Checking if my life is in alignment to heavens. I want heaven to invade this earth, and my heart.

The other part of purity is fleeing from sexual immorality. Yep, sex. The other day I had a woman of God ask me why I was waiting to have sex until my wedding night. And I had to stop and really think of what my heart's motives and desires were for waiting. So this is the response I sent her:

"I have always wanted to wait, basically, because my parents engraved it in my head that I had to wait and that sex was bad. I mean, dad gave me a purity ring when I was 16- I was stuck for waiting if I was going to wear the ring. ;) So I just knew that I had/have to wait. It never really became my hearts desire until I seriously began praying for my husband. One day I was praying for this ideal great man for me to marry and the Lord spoke to me in a very Jesus voice. :) And checked me and said- "Are you the type of woman that this man your praying for deserves?"
After this encounter I immediately checked myself and my reasoning for waiting to have sex. I decided on that day that the next guy I kissed/dated would be my husband. I did this because I had to get extreme with myself- I knew that if I didnt that it would be a constant problem for me. [I know that God has the power to reveal to my future husband and myself that we are the ones He designed each other for. I know that I know that I know that God can handle this. He can give my man the courage to approach me, and we can navigate our ways through this cycle of courting/dating with his help and his wisdom.] I am in the process of working on me right now- and preparing myself as the type of woman that the husband I desire deserves.

But here are my top reasons to wait:
-It's biblical. Jesus said it. I do it.
-My husband deserves a WHOLE me. Not a Brennen that has been given to man after man.
-On my wedding night I only want to think about my husband. I don't want any other images in my head of another man. (This goes into pornography/ oral sex/ roaming hands/ all of that..... none of that crap- I say it's sex to.)
-Even if I know that it is my husband and we aren't married yet- I will still wait. Why? Because marriage is designed specifically for marriage. When you have sex with someone you become soul ties. And a part of you is taken with them. You remember them forever. In my marriage I want to give my husband the best that I can give him.
-It's sexy. To say that you are a virgin is sexy. To say that you are waiting for the man God has for you is even more sexy. If I do say so myself, I think it is for a guy to say it.... so I'd say the same for women too. :) Yep. You can be holy and sexy, just saying.
-Obedience to God. When you obey God- He honors that. Obedience brings breakthrough. It's just a good thing. I want a marriage of breakthrough, so I choose to honor my husband even before it's been revealed that he is my husband.

It's a choice, as women we're called to bring our husbands good, not harm, all the day of our lives. (Pr. 31:12) So, all the days of my life- I choose to wait for him. I choose to honor him. And I believe that God will honor that. And that my man will be [an extremely gorgeous] man of God. And that he will be so glad I chose the road of purity.

Please know that God is also a God of redemption. And if you have messed up in the past- that God forgives you. Nothing that you have done is too much for God to handle. He loves you exactly where you are and He can bring you through it. If you have had sex before or have just gone too far- then I believe that God can make you new. You are a new creation- the old is gone, and that you can choose from this point on that you will live a life of purity. And your purity will bring freedom.

If you can't tell this is my passion. I'm in the process of writing a book for it, and I may even include this blog entry in my book. I hope that you know that I am not perfect. I mess up and will always be in the learning process of living a life of purity. Sometimes my heart is the farthest thing from pure, but it's a process and it's a daily decision. And I believe it's possible. God will not call you to anything you can't handle with Him. Everyone has a past, but everyone has a future... allow God to do something amazing with your future.

:)B

God's giftings.

2010-11-10T23:47:00.000-06:00

Guessssss what!? I found something I can do with my talents and gifting to make some money! For the holiday season I will be offering myself to decorate your Christmas tree! I can use what you have at home- or I'd be more than happy to go and pick out all new ornaments for you. Check out my facebook page and see the small fun tree I did today for my work! Message me on there if ya want me to help ya out! :) AND..... I will also wrap your Christmas presents. I worked in a fabulous boutique and learned how to wrap like a pro- and make a bow out of a ribbon.... so let me know if you want my skills ;).

Learning.

2010-11-08T11:50:00.000-06:00

   For the first time in a while, I am in a place where I don't exactly know what I'm doing. I don't have it all together. I'm in a constant state of learning and also in a constant state of messing up. I'm not used to being "administrative" all the time. Granted, I am fully capable and can do it well and have experience. But most of the time only with one event, not six. I am on a new adventure of learning how to be all the roles that I am in. Leader, servant, admin, worshipper, barista, etc, etc... And it's difficult. But what I am learning is that I have to learn. I have to be teachable. Or else, I will not prosper in my roles.
   In Proverbs 14:6 (MSG) it says, "Cynics look high and low for wisdom- and never find it; the open-minded find it right on their doorstep!" I can not be the skeptical Brennen. My life will not work like that, I will be frustrated and angry all of the time. I have to be open-minded to new ideas, new ways of doing things, and new processes. Being teachable is one of the most important things in my walk with God. If I am not teachable then how will I ever grow?
   To be teachable also means you have to be willing to "unteach" yourself some things as well. With learning comes unlearning. And this is where I struggle. Because it becomes an internal battle. A battle of the mind most of the time for me. I have to take thoughts captive, replace them with truth, and act in truth. I have to make my mind up that I am going to learn this new truth. Your internal lifestyle determines your external actions. What you decide in your mind will come out. It's just a truth.
   It's a lifestyle of surrender that brings freedom. Surrender to everything that once was and allowing God to redefine it for you. Some things from the past will still remain, because it's still truth, but some things will be replaced with something far greater. Soak it in. Soak it up. Live it out. Inside to the outside.

Blogging: Solution to my Dilemma

2010-11-07T23:40:00.001-06:00

   One of the things that I find myself talking about constantly is people's passions. What makes them come alive. What they love to do. One of the things we believe and teach at my church is to use the God given passions for his glory and also for an income. For the past month I have been searching my brain for what makes me come alive. And to be honest, I'm worn out. Why?
   I'll share an example. Today, I got to hold the sweetest 4(ish) month old baby for a good little bit. I got to watch him fall asleep. And I came alive. Example 2. His name is Valor, and he's 2 years old. He saw Chelsea (twin) at church when he first came in and got really excited and was smiling and pointing- then when he looked closer he realized it wasn't "Bennen" and got sad. But when I waved- he got excited again. And I came alive.
   So why am I worn out? Because one of the things I desire is not yet mine. I am content and fully aware that God will bring- first, a husband into my life at the right timing. And after that will bring children. And that He has the perfect plan, timing, and man for me. But it's this waiting process that I get a little tired. And this afternoon as I held the baby and then later on played with sweet Valor I realized what made me come alive. Pretending to be a mom.
   I also talked to a mother today about her young daughter who was very nurturing. She said she got her a kitty so she'd have something to take care of... brilliant! The mom is helping her daughter develop one of the sweetest personality traits/ gifts in her life. And that is exactly what I need to do. God has given me this gift. He has given me this desire and love to care for a husband and children. But in this time of waiting- I can help "nurture" other things. I can always play pretend mommy. There are plenty of things and people that need to be loved. So I will do just that. I am no longer worn out. God will show me and teach me how I can make an income doing this...... or he'll reveal another passion in my life... I am certain of it. :)

AND..... this waiting process is actually an anointing process..... maybe I'll blog about that soon....

   I will add that I am horrible at laundry. And I apologize to my husband and my kids in advance for it. Maybe by then I'll be good at it. ;)

   I have blogged myself through this dilemma. Score.

Broken Volume Control.

2010-11-04T11:01:00.000-05:00

     You never realize the things that bring so much joy to your life until it's gone. In July my gorgeous [identical] twin sister used my car while I was in LA. When I got home and got in the car- she began to giggle. And then gave me this sheepish "I did something wrong face." And explained to me that somehow my volume button broke on my radio. 3 months later, I am still grieving the death of my volume button. It is stuck at a comfortable volume 10. Which, is great when I have a headache, or if someone is in the car where there is uncomfortable silence. However, it is not so great when I'm trying to talk on the phone or when I simply want to JAM to some music. I have become fully aware of my inability to sing consistently or good. And quite frankly, I'm ready to be able to sing again without hearing myself. :)

   I was going to write this blog on something totally different then what is about to come out of these quickly moving fingers. The Lord just quickened my spirit and let me in on a revelation. There are "volume buttons" in my life that need to be broken at a comfortable 10. Why? So I can see some of my faults. And now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure my volume button on life is on mute! See my last blog post and you can realize that I am in a state of change. God has revealed to me that I am a control freak and a few other things on how I live my life that are not so Godly.

     It's so easy to just turn it up and ignore it. To drown it out. Pay no attention to it. And let it get worst. But God has a different plan. It's not that He wants to make you feel horrible- it's that it is simply a part of life. We live and we learn. We make mistakes, we stand up, and move on. My precious Savior wants the best for me. And sometimes I have to come to a reality of the things I'm struggling with so I can be redeemed. Redemption is the Lord's heart cry. He wants you back. He wants to restore and rebuild.

     What are the things you cover up? It's not bad to be vulnerable. It brings you to a place of intimacy with the Lord. I am by no means an expert on this, or I would have realized years ago my control problems. Because it's been going on since birth. For real. That's how bad it is. :) Feel free to pray for me this week as I let go and Let God take care of things for me. As I draw people toward instead of pushing them away when things don't go my way. It goes against everything I have taught my mind. My God is so capable of redeeming, restoring, loving, teaching, comforting, and rebuilding me. Just like He's capable of doing the same for you.

Heaven invades Brennen.

2010-11-03T23:30:00.000-05:00

   My mind is on overload right now. I am being stretched and pulled in the best way possible. God has wrecked my life for the ordinary. These past 2 weeks have been crazy good for me. Not the easiest by any means, but... so good. Why? Because I am on information/ revelation download from the Lord. He is teaching me and totally rearranging my mindset to be His mindset. It's a total brainwashing experience. I'm pretty sure that makes some of you step back and wonder if I'm experiencing Jesus or something psycho.
   No worries...... it's all Jesus. It is simply the renewing of the mind process. My mind just needs a lot of renewing. I have some bad "mind" habits that have to be broken. And it has totally wrecked my life. Forgive me if you are tripping out while you sit reading my blog- that is normally reader friendly and polite. But God is wrecking my life and I LOVE it! And I'm praying that God wrecks yours in the best way possible!

Here are some things that are changing my life:
-I was not made to fit God into a box. God is so much bigger than what I can imagine.

-I must allow Him to freely work through my life. Exactly where I am at. I need to get to the place where I submit to His will even in the middle of Target. If God prompts.. I must obey.

-Sometimes, things don't make sense. Choose Jesus. He makes sense.

-I must love people the way God loves me. God does not control me. I must stop controlling people.

-My life must be lived from an inward out change. Not outward in... that will never last.

-It is okay to change. It is okay to be wrong. God is not afraid of my mistakes at all. He can pick me back up when I fail.

-I must pursue the life of Jesus. Heaven is my example.

-My waiting is also an anointing process. God is preparing the anointed husband/job/ opportunities/ etc. for me. I am required to continue to pursue the things He's calling me to.

   And there is so much more that I am learning that is changing my carnal mindset. My heart's desire is to be more like Christ. But the thing I am learning- is that doesn't take me loosing all of the "Brennen" in me. He wants to use me and my passions to further His kingdom. He wants me to love people the best that I can while I pursue a lifestyle of holiness and of Jesus. I want more of Him in me. I want to be brainwashed by my Savior. And if that means I'm wrecked for life then I'll be wrecked for life. But Heaven is invading my life and I LOVE IT. :)

Faith and Love.

2010-10-28T11:44:00.001-05:00

Today is a good day. And I love good days. My friend sent me a verse from 1 Thessalonians this morning. So I decided to make that my reading today. I read the entire fifth chapter and one phrase stuck out so strongly.

1 Thess. 5:8 "...putting on faith and love as a breastplate..."

I'm sure I've read this passage several times throughout the years, but this is the first time that this phrase has stuck out. It's crazy good truth. What's a breastplate? What do you use it for? My first thought goes to the movie "How to Train a Dragon", the first weapon they grabbed before fighting the dragons was their shield or breastplate. It was essential to their fight with the dragon. They had to have it to protect themselves. Just in that very way is faith and love supposed to be to us. That whenever we come against any opposition at all we are supposed to cling and grab onto faith and love.

Realistically, what does that look like? When someone says something rude and ridiculous, you grab your love breastplate. You defend with love. That might be turning the other cheek, but you put on love. You love and encourage that person. This is probably where I struggle the most. I am such a drama queen sometimes. After someone is mean- I immediately want to tell somebody. I feel insecure and hurt and I immediately go to someone else instead of putting on love.

What does putting on faith look like? The thing I keep thinking about, is dreams. We all have a dream that we would love to do one day. It might be something like becoming the president of the USA, or opening a boutique, or owning a Ferrari, it could be anything. And most of the time, (at least in my experience) whenever we share these ideas and dreams with someone, they aren't nearly as excited as we are. They usually have something to spout back that isn't as encouraging as we had hoped. And this is usually when I get defensive or angry and usually end up crying because someone crushed my dream. But, what are we supposed to do? Put on the breastplate of faith. Believing the things that God has spoken over us. Believing the promises that the Lord left for us in His word.

It's such a simple phrase. But it has such a life-changing truth to it. Put on faith and love in every circumstance. See what happens. My vow to my fellow bloggers is to this week whenever opposition comes against me to put on my breastplate of love and faith.

Stand firm my friends, and be moldable by Your Creator.

<3B.

Grief. Isn't an equation.

2010-10-26T14:55:00.000-05:00

   It's been a week since I blogged last. And to be honest, I am still numb. I don't know what to feel, what to write, what to say, or how to act. I've never dealt with death and grief. It's surreal. It goes against my heart. I don't want to believe that Pepaw is gone. Nor do I want to deal with moving on. It's pathetic almost. The other night, I put on regular mascara. That's a step, and I was proud. I was making a statement to myself that I wouldn't be sad. That I wouldn't cry. I, of course, cried. And am I mad that I cried? No. Because it is natural. I'm grieving. I looked at the steps of grief... and they didn't help. I don't know what will help- other than clinging to the One who has my heart in mind. Jesus.
   The only thing I know how to do is be emotional. Sometimes, it's not very loving. I get angry and irrational. I get mad over stupid things and don't want to be around anyone. And sometimes all I want/need- is simply for someone to love me and hold me. I get frustrated when I'm having fun. Why? Because I've forgotten that someone so special to me passed away. Should I get frustrated? No. Pepaw would want me to have fun, to laugh, and to continue living my life. But- I guess it's a part of grief.
   I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm not a scholar. Nor do I have my doctorate, heck, not even a completed semester of college. I guess I'm at a point where I don't know what to do next with my grief. But I also think, that if someone told me what to do- I wouldn't like it very much.
   So what's my plan? To let out whatever emotion I need to. When I'm happy- I'm gonna be happy. When I need to cry and be sad... I'll do just that. I'll let myself process this loss in my life. It's not something that next week I'm gonna be over. It's something that years from now- I will still struggle with. Maybe not as often, but it'll come up. And that's a lot to get your head around when you've never been through it before.
   I'll stand firm on my Rock. My provider. I'll rest in His Heavenly arms. I know that He will breathe strength into me and that He will hold my hand. I know that Pepaw is in a place where there is no weeping, no hurt, and no pain. And for that, I rejoice. I'll take the memories, the laughs, the cries, the fun times and the hard times... and I'll always remember my Pepaw. I'll remember the things he taught me and I'll be sure to make him proud.

Pepaw.

2010-10-20T15:40:00.002-05:00

Chelsea and Pepaw last year

I wrote this entire blog on 2 different occasions. First half before he passed and the second after.

In Loving Memory of my precious Pepaw- William Joseph Gaddis Sr. most commonly known as Billy Sr.

Sometimes, it’s comforting to know that God has it all under control. Okay, not sometimes, it's good to know all the time. It is so good that no matter what- God’s got it. I don’t have to worry about things, he cares for me. He keeps his eye on the sparrow, so He’s got His eye on me. He knows what is best for me. And He has the power to reveal it to me. I still have the choice to listen and the choice to obey. But ultimately, God’s got this.

Life hits. And when life does hit... God is still God. I got 2 calls from my dad yesterday and I wasn’t able to answer them. After the second call, I knew that something wasn’t right. I called him back and was told that my Pepaw (Billy Gaddis, my dad’s dad) was in ICU. He had been loosing fluids and they didn’t know what was wrong. Almost 24 hours later, here I am. Sitting here writing this blog watching Pepaw sleep in his ICU room. To tell you the truth, I hope I don’t get in trouble for having my MacBook out. But, he’s hanging in there. Bless his heart, he’s been through a rough few years medically. This time he had a build up of dried blood in his upper GI area. They cleaned it out, he’s had a minor heart attack, kidney failure, and his esophagus is irritated. Nonetheless, my pepaw is fighting.

I don’t really even know what to blog about... I always blog about things in my life. And I’ve hit a tough spot. [I quit writing this around 3 oclock Tueday afternoon and got a call around 430 telling me to come to the hospital quick.]

Life has hit. My dearest Pepaw passed away Tuesday at around 5 o clock. It was simply his time to go. He had a hard fight the past 5 years and he was worn out. I’m back at writing this for not any particular reason. I guess to relieve some of my thoughts. It’s 6am and the reality of death is growing. I’ve never really had to experience death. I was so young when Memaw and Grand-Barbara died that this is a new thing for me. When I left the hospital yesterday I thought I was prepared for him to die. A couple of hours before that I had had some Pepaw and Brennen time. He was fast asleep, but that was probably best so he couldn’t argue with me. :) I stood by his hospital bed in ICU and laid my hands on him. I prayed the hardest prayer I’ve had to pray. A prayer of release. Not that I was cursing him, or praying “bad” things on him, but that I was releasing him to do whatever the Lord wanted. I knew that he was in pain and that he was suffering and I didn’t want to wish that back on him. As I patted his hair and he would rearrange himself I had a peace. Thy will not my will Lord.

I didn’t think that it would be moments after I left the hospital room or did I think it would happen that night. But as my cousin pointed out, it was quitting time. Right around 5pm (and that’s early for Pepaw) he went to be with the Lord. He taught me how to work hard. He taught everyone how to work hard. Even though he would tell me that I had gained weight or that my hair was a mess I knew that was his way of loving me. And when I would leave his office he almost always said. “I love you Bren, you’re beautiful.” He was so precious to me.

I remember arguing with him in his red chevrolet pick up truck, with the cell phone in it, about him smoking while we were in the car. I’d be dramatic and act like I was about to choke to death while he would continue to smoke. I remember him taking me on a trip- I don’t remember the details, but I remember that we went. I remember making him stand outside to smoke at our house and laughing at him the whole time. When I would leave my cheek was almost always dripping with slobber from his kisses. I loved sitting on his lap when he'd let me, and I loved going to see him at work.

He loved me in the best way he knew how. He was a good man. And I honor his life. I will always miss you Pepaw.

Glimpses of Life

2010-10-15T11:34:00.000-05:00

   Today is the day. Our 24 hour prayer day at Promiseland Metro Church is on it's way! We are 2 and a half hours into our 24 and I am already being changed and renewed. I explained this whole process like a mother being pregnant. I feel like I'm pregnant. And that today is delivery day. I'm not the only one either that feels this way. I believe whole heartedly that this prayer movement is birthing something special.
   So, here I am. In the delivery room. Watching a couple cling to each other while in prayer. Watching another young man sold out the Lord seeking his will. Glory! I am seeing glimpses and signs of life. :) It's already been conceived. And I'm beginning to feel the heartbeat of it all. I'm beginning to feel it kick. And I am so excited. I don't know what exactly God is going to birth during these 24 hours, but I do know it's going to be many things. Things for individuals, couples, families, church families, this city, our state, our nation, and people all across the world.
   I posted on my facebook that people could send me texts with prayer requests. I've already received over 10. I am blown away. The time is now. People are hungry. They want more. They know that there is more. Prayer is the avenue of change. Prayer is the road to freedom and breakthrough.
   What are the glimpses of life that you've seen in your own ministries? In your life? Seek after it. And walk into it. The glimpses are beautiful things. I pray I never take it for granted.

So Jesus, thank you for this beautiful day of prayer. Fill up this house with your glory. Overflow our lives. Speak to us. Give us the ears to hear. Give us the obedience to obey. Thank you Jesus. I love you Lord. Amen.

Gotta Start Somewhere

2010-10-14T13:16:00.000-05:00

   Tomorrow morning at 9am my church, Promiseland Metro Church, will begin it's very first full 24 hours in prayer. As I have been planning this "event" I continually get more and more excited; overwhelmed at times, but so excited. I believe with every ounce of my heart that this is the beginning of something that only God can do. I believe that our church is going to begin to grow rapidly. I believe that the Lord is going to move in such a big way. And, I am so excited to see what those precious 24 hours bring.
   I've been looking at big prayer movements, churches that have grown to thousands within 3 years, and rapid moves of God. It amazes and excites me. It makes me thirsty for a move of God so big that the only explanation is "God did it." And I believe it can and will happen. I declare it over Promiseland Ministries and over my own life. But the thing that I have to remind myself instead of getting overwhelmed, is it started somewhere.
   Everything... starts somewhere. Someone had to have had a vision. Walmart, Gap, and Texas Roadhouse all started from someone with a vision and a dream. They wanted it. They worked, sweated, prayed, and did everything that they could to get their "thing" started. It's the same thing with our dreams and visions that the Lord has given us. We have to work towards it... move forward with it.
   For example, one of my life goals is to write a book. I can't simply talk about it, I must begin to write it. (I have 3 pages done, by the way. :)) And I want Promiseland Ministries to grow, I have caught the vision that Pastor Jeff and Melissa have for their church- and I want to do everything that I can to help that vision that the Lord has given them come true. So we work at it. We walk into what God has called us to. We pray and seek God's guidance in moving forward. We plan according to what He has spoken to us. We prepare for the prophesies over our church and our own lives.
   I've had this skewed view of this concept before I fully realized what it meant... I thought, "Well, God told me He'd do it, so I'll sit back and watch." And, sometimes He does.... but other times, and most of the time, He wants you to pursue it. To go after the desires and dreams He's placed in our lives. To walk into our calling. Ephesians 2:10 instructs us to do so.

For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.

While I prepare for tomorrows 24 hour prayer service, continue writing my book, and helping with Promiseland, I urge you to walk into what God is calling you to. Step by step. It has to start somewhere.

Love.

God, will You clean up my mess?

2010-10-13T12:07:00.000-05:00

I had to ask the Lord to clean up my mess today. A mess I made on my own. He trusted me with something and I made a mess of it. A sticky, horrible mess. There are lots of sticky hands going around because of the mess I made. Embarrassing and humbling all at the same time. And I have no idea how to clean it up. As I was praying about it this morning, I just said, Lord- will you clean up my mess? I'm helpless, I don't know where to start or even how to start. I know it's my mess, but could you clean it up? I was expecting a resounding, make me feel good, "Yes, daughter, I love you! I'll do anything for you. This isn't a mess!" from my Father…. but instead I got silence…. Silence… Silence... Silence... and then "Psalm 46". God is MY refuge and MY strength, an ever-present help in times of trouble, I will not fear. God is still God despite my mess. And God is still 100% capable of restoring it. Sometimes, there are messes that we just don't know how to clean up. You know when a toddler spills something.... and they try to pick it up but they just make a bigger mess.... that's how I feel in this situation.

But, God is still God. And in that I can rest. I can "be still and know that He is God" as the psalmist says. I read Psalm 46 in the Message and liked how it is worded:

^1-3 God is a safe place to hide, ready to help when we need him.

We stand fearless at the cliff-edge of doom,

courageous in seastorm and earthquake,

Before the rush and roar of oceans,

the tremors that shift mountains.

Jacob-wrestling God fights for us,

God-of-Angel-Armies protects us.

^4-6 River fountains splash joy, cooling God's city,

this sacred haunt of the Most High.

God lives here, the streets are safe,

God at your service from crack of dawn.

Godless nations rant and rave, kings and kingdoms threaten,

but Earth does anything he says.

⁷ Jacob-wrestling God fights for us,

God-of-Angel-Armies protects us.

^8-10 Attention, all! See the marvels of God!

He plants flowers and trees all over the earth,

Bans war from pole to pole,

breaks all the weapons across his knee.

"Step out of the traffic! Take a long,

loving look at me, your High God,

above politics, above everything."

¹¹ Jacob-wrestling God fights for us,

God-of-Angel-Armies protects us.

God is God. He is my protector. Provider. Healer. And, today, he is my "cleaner". He's picking up my mess. Don't be afraid to allow God to clean up your mess. To clean up your wounds. Allow God to be God and rest in being a child of God. Some messes I am perfectly able to clean up, and some messes I can do one thing to "help" Him..... but other times, it's just too much. He takes over. And I find my peace... even in the midst of a disaster.

Good day.

2010-10-11T23:54:00.000-05:00

   Good days are fabulous. I love good days. Today was a good day. Why? Coca Cola Classic. Regular customers. & a cute old couple. (Did I mention Coca Cola?) So stinking awesome. I've been MIA with Coca Cola for the past few weeks. But today was a bank holiday- so that meant that I got to drink Coca Cola. It was fabulous. And for the past few weeks my regular and favorite customers at the coffee shop have been MIA, and they all showed up today! And then I had the cutest older couple come in, and the man wanted me to tell him about facebook. I'm pretty sure he is 70 or older. But I loved it. Absolutely loved it.
   I feel so blessed when I have days like today. When I realize the blessings in my life. I woke up this morning and decided that today would be a good day. I declared it. I believed it. And it happened. Which, coca cola was involved... so of course I'm happy. ;) But, nonetheless, the Lord was so good to me today.
   He revealed and confirmed some things for me this morning in my quiet time. I love it when he does that. And I love it when he speaks on my level. He confirmed a dream I had a few months ago today in a scripture. It was good stuff. I serve such a great God. He has blessed me with amazing things in my life. I love my family, my church, my friends, my God, my job, my car, my shoes, and my new jeans. Seriously, thank you Jesus!

   So, if you are still reading- you made it through my ramblings.... but I want to know what makes you have a good day? When was the last time that you had a good day from all of the little things? I'd love to know. :)

Meet my Parents.

2010-10-08T12:40:00.000-05:00

I am a proud daughter. Yep, daughter. I have two of the most amazing parents. They are such an example to me and I am extremely blessed. Just look at how cute my parents are, I love them! Let me introduce them to you. Dad. Meet Billy Joe Gaddis, where I get my grin from and my cheesy jokes.

Still in Love too!

He is the best equipment operator in Owensboro and can make anyone laugh. He is so incredibly in love with my mother. He is the head of our household and the head encourager. Constantly talking about his 3 beauty queens... (mom, chels, and me) and his handsome son. He loves getting his back scratched and we are thankful for tv ears, because he's hard of hearing. He has the heart the size of Texas and will do anything to help anyone. That's my Dad! :) Meet mom. Robin Gaddis. One of the best Helix hair designers in Owensboro, and possibly the world. She is discerning and is completely obedient to the word of the Lord. She loves being outside with a good novel. She loves the beach and loves staying up late talking to me! :) I love my mom! They are such an encouragement to me.

This all comes about because I am doing a study called, "Secrets: Transforming your Life and Marriage". Yes, I am fully aware that I am not married, but I will be prepared on the glorious day that the Lord speaks to my husband and confirms that I am the one for him. As I go through this study, I have realized what a great marriage I have grown up under. And I wanted to share with the world the things I have learned from mom and dad.

Marriage with Billy Joe and Robin:

1. God first, always, always, always.

2. Spouse second. Not Brennen, Trae, or Chelsea. But spouse. My dad and I are a lot alike on how we receive love from mom. We like to spend time with her, and on numerous occasions Mom tells me that she has to spend time with dad and that later she will spend time with me. No fun at the moment, but I appreciate it now.

3. Never, ever say divorce. This has brought so much peace into our home. I never have to worry if mom and dad will split up. It's not talked about.

4. We don't yell. Dad made the pact with mom before they got married that they would never yell at each other. And I've never heard them yell. Once again, peace.

5. Respect. I hardly ever witness my parents responding to one another with eyes rolling, hateful tones, or mean words.

6. They always agree with one another... even if they disagree. They wait to talk about it until later. I know that if mom says something that dad stands behind it, and vis versa.

7. Dad still opens the door for her. Sorry boys, it's just something that women appreciate.

8. Dad always tells mom how pretty she is. Mom always tells dad how much she respects and appreciates his hard work.

9. Mom is not dad's maid. It works out well.

10. They make time for one another. Even if it's just a few minutes of mom scratching dad's head.

11. Mom or dad never sleep on the couch because of an argument. They settle it before they go to bed.

12. Laughter. That simple. They laugh together.

13. They dance... not always... but most the time after a movie when the credits are rolling... they dance.

14. Trust. They trust one another.

15. They hug and they kiss.... in front of us. We pretend like we don't like it, but it reassures us that they love each other.

Mom and Dad would be the first to tell you that their marraige is not perfect.... but I say they have something good going on. I am so excited to see where God takes them in their marriage and to see what else God has for them. I pray blessing, prosperity and joy over their marriage.

Thank you Mom and Dad for loving God, one another and then loving us. You two have taught me more than any marriage study book could. Thank you, thank you, thank you. We appreciate it.

John 13:34 "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another."

Ephesians 5:33 "The wife must respect her husband."

1 Corinthians 13:7,8 "Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. "

Coca Cola Obsession

2010-10-07T11:33:00.000-05:00

I decided to do something really stupid about 2 weeks ago. One of my lovely friends, Ashley Abney, and I made a pact that we wouldn't drink soda except for on bank holidays. This is seriously, one of the stupidest things I have done.

Let me share with you my obsession. Coca Cola Classic. Before this pact, I was drinking at least two 32 ounce cups of Coca Cola, if not more (from Hucks, the greatest gas station in the world, ask Adam Kees). I'm telling you, I love me some Coca Cola. However, Coca Cola doesn't love me. I fluctuate with my weight according to how much Coca Cola I am drinking. Jeans were getting too tight and my face looked like a balloon, so no more Coke for a while.

Yesterday, I was having some withdrawals. Major withdrawals. Luckily, Ashley would kick my booty if I drank one, so I resisted. But, I will say, some days I can go the whole day without thinking about a Coke. This runs parallel to eating out at restaurants as well. The more you eat out the more you want to eat out. And in return, the more you eat home cooked meals, the more you want home cooked meals. Or maybe, this just applies to me and my fellow extremists.

This correlates with our walk with the Lord. Whenever we sin, we want to sin more. That sounds so generic, but bear with me for a minute. Whenever you lie, it becomes easier to lie the next time. Whenever I drink one coca cola, I crave more coca cola. Whenever the drug addict smokes one joint, they crave the second joint. (Do you smoke a joint? I'm not positive, forgive me if my street lingo is off.) It's this big chain of sin. The more you do it, the more you want to do it.

Many people have asked me, why don't you just limit yourself with cokes. I can't. It's all or nothing for me. If I go cold turkey off of them, it's so much easier than "weening" myself off of them. This morning I was reading in 1 Peter 1:13-16, check out what it says;

Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be give you when Jesus Christ is revealed. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy."

   We have to get serious with the things we struggle with. We have to cut it off. Prepare ourselves in advance for how we are going to react when your mom asks you to unload the dishwasher, or when your wife asks you to mow the lawn, or when your daughter asks you to go to a "bad" friends house. If you are prepared, you are ready to be self controlled, instead of spouting off something mean and hateful, or responding in a way that is not respectful.
   So, I urge you, to rid yourself of whatever is bringing you down. If it's a bad habit that is unhealthy, if it's the way you speak to your husband, if it's a credit card that you can't quit swiping.... get rid of it. Cut it off. Live a life of self control and holiness. And, if you're going off of cokes, you get to look forward to bank holidays. ;)

Mean Witness-ers.

2010-10-06T11:26:00.001-05:00

About 10 minutes ago I had an experience I knew I would have to blog about; I love it when that happens. I normally work at a local coffee shop but to help out I work once a week at the gift shop next door that my boss owns as well. I am still learning what all is in the store, how it works, what credit cards we take, etc, etc. Today, I am working at the gift shop. I have this older lady that comes in and asks me if I have goblettes, which I have no idea what that is, or if that is what she said. She explains that they are glasses with a stem. I show her where they are displayed and tell her the price of each set. She chooses blue ones and when I tell her they are 23.75 she says, "I thought they were $20" I then have to explain that the other set of glasses were 19.95 this one was 21.50 or something.... and then explain that taxes are added. She changes her mind, asks me a few more random questions that I simply said "I have no idea, but I'd be more than happy to find out for you." She is annoyed. I can tell. I'm frustrated with the lady.

It comes time for her to pay... finally. She asks if we take Discover, I say- I'll swipe it and find out. She asks very rudely, "You haven't worked here long have you?" I stay calm, hold my tounge and make a joke. She pays. Then, hands me 2 magazines on prayer and knowing who God is.

I simply stood in silence holding back laughter. I know that's horrible that I wanted to laugh, but I mean really? I didn't explain that I had a personal relationship with Jesus or that He was the love of my life. I just stood and politely said thank you. I looked up the website of the magazine, it's a Jehovah's Witness magazine. Which, is totally fine. I'm not trying to make jokes on religions. I don't even know what they believe. I know what I believe. And I know that if I was being mean to someone I certainly wouldn't be witnessing after I acted like that.

Do our actions and words match our passion? I'm pretty sure thats a VBS song from a few years back... Yep, and I found the video.... but in all reality- it is totally right.

My life has to match up with the love of God. The world will never follow something that they don't see lived out. Or they will do the same thing you are doing, claiming a faith but not living it out. I hope I never am not able to share the love of Jesus because of my actions beforehand. I hope that I'm never rude to the waitress and then want to leave a card inviting them to church. The church, in a whole, has to get serious about our lives matching our passion [or what we claim to be our passion]. Or else, we will never reach the lost.

On a side note, I pray blessings and truth on the cute lady that wanted to share her faith with me. I hope next time she's more careful with her words. :)

<3B

Deep clean.

2010-10-04T22:28:00.000-05:00

   I have a bad habit. Clothes. I have a horrible habit with my clothes. I am the most indecisive person getting ready in the mornings. I normally have one article of clothing picked out. Sometimes it's a scarf, a pair of jeans, a pair of shoes, or sometimes something as ridiculous as a pair of socks. I just get it in my mind that I want to wear it, and I don't stop until I get an outfit together. Where's the problem? When I try on, and try on, and try on clothes..... and don't always put them back. I admit it. I can get messy, especially when I am in a hurry. The thing is- I get this idea in my head of the "look" I'm going for that day and I'm just not content without it. Usually, I am pushing for time as well. Anyways, this always leads to clothes on my floor. Not dirty... clean.
   The other bad habit I have.... is not putting my shoes up on the convenient shoe holder on my door. So I usually have a collection of shoes in one area of my room. I am not a dirty person. Let's get that clear, before you think I'm gross. I, sometimes, am just a little messy. BUT... the good thing is- I can only go so long with the mess. Then it is crazy Brennen cleaning up. Normally, late at night because I keep stepping on a hanger or something crazy like that.
   Well, the other day, I decided that I had had enough. It was time to be neat again! So I picked up all of my stuff. I also become like a 5 year old when I do something that my mom will be proud of, so I ran downstairs and made mom come look at my neat room. [Most of] my clothes in my closet, clean. My dirty clothes hamper empty... and a picked up room. I said, "Look Mom, I cleaned!"
   She, of course, smiles and tells me she is proud... but then corrects me and says, "You picked up, you didn't clean." And, she is right. If you looked close- you could see the dust on the furniture and could tell that my floor needed some swiffer attention.
   I get like this with the Lord sometimes. I let things go crazy for a while, then I can't stand it, and I "get right" with God. I get all my stuff together, get all my dirty sin taken care of, and I get excited and say , "Look Lord! Look at what I did! Aren't you proud of me!?"
   And, He is. But- I didn't really "clean up" my life. I just picked it up, put stuff back where it belongs. I didn't get to the root of the problem. I just snipped it. Made it look good, presentable. When it still needed work.
   I am so thankful that God is in the deep cleaning business. I can always count on Him helping me clean some stuff out. Getting myself clean of the things that drag me down. Just like I can always count on my mom helping me get my room cleaned, really cleaned.
   Where have you just picked up lately? Is it time for a deep cleaning? Jesus! Show us where we need You to deep clean our lives. Give us the courage and determination to do it and to do it right.

Unfaithfulness to Perseverance

2010-10-03T11:45:00.001-05:00

   After several weeks I have found myself back into Joshua, picking up right where I left off. I wrote several blogs going through Joshua 1-6, and then I read the heading on Joshua 7, "Achan's Sin", and didn't want a disappointment, so I wandered into other parts of my Bible. However, yesterday morning the Lord tugged on my heart to open back up to Joshua 7. You can read my other blogs with these links. Strong and Courageous, Step into Your Jordan, Shout of Faith. And now that you are caught up on Joshua's story we can dive into Joshua 7.

   This chapter shows how much we are like Joshua, or at least how much I am like Joshua. The first verse in Joshua says, "The Israelites acted unfaithfully in regard to the devoted things..." it continues and says, "...so the Lord's anger burned against Israel." Basically, the Lord told them to destroy all of the "bad" stuff, to purge out anything that would cause them to sin, to get rid of the worldly things. And the Israelites did what we so often do. They say to the Lord, "Yes, I got it all, I'm through with it. Done with it. Never going back. Zilch. Nada." Even though somewhere, somehow they are still holding onto a piece of it.

   God knows everything. So, He had to know that they were being unfaithful, but He still allowed them to cross over the Jordan. God may allow us to cross the Jordan with some baggage, but it won't be everything He intended it to be. Why? Because of our lack of obedience. Our lack of obedience doesn't allow it to be everything He intended it to be. This happens with parents and their children all the time. A parent may allow their child to do something even if they know they aren't obeying, just so they can "learn their lesson". But, sooner or later, we will have to face the consequences and own up to our lack of obedience and faithfulness. We have to let go of that little piece that we are still holding onto, to receive the fullness of stepping into our promiseland.

   The Israelites went to battle with the Amorites and lost. They should have won, but they lost. Joshua was defeated. He lost hope. He immediately began to question God. Even saying, "Lord, we shouldn't have even crossed the Jordan, If only we had been content to stay on the other side of the Jordan." This makes my stomach turn. The Lord had done something mighty, crazy and supernatural, and Joshua is doubting if they even should have done it. He is doubting if God can handle what they've come against. How often do we receive breakthrough, expect green grass and nothing but happiness, then hit a road block, and we begin to doubt God. This is no bueno! Not good, not at all. This is when perseverance is soo key in our walk with the Lord.

   When you are in the center of God's will, a trial or problem does not mean to stop. It simply means to take a look at what you've done, see if you've obeyed completely, seek the Lord, and PERSEVERE.

   The Lord reminds Joshua of the Israelites unfaithfulness and tells them, "I will not be among you anymore unless you destroy whatever among you is devoted to destruction." We must get rid of the things that lead to destruction. We will not be able to stand against our enemies until we remove it from our lives. We can't leave an open door for the enemy to sneak in. Close him off, don't let him have a hint of room to get into your life.

   A lot more happens in the end of chapter 7. The family that was hiding the devoted things owned up to their sin, got stoned, and burned the devoted things. And chapter 7 ends rather abruptly. I'm still disappointed in the Israelites. But, man does it make sense why we act the way we do sometimes after a move of God happens. We have to come against that carnal mindset and set our minds on Christ, no matter what obstacles come our way.

   In my daily devotional book it talks about how a momma eagle will force her baby eagles to fly [when they are ready]. She'll tousle up the nest so they will fly, but then she will go and fly under them when they are struggling and give them her support until they can fly on their own. And as Hannah Whitall Smith said, "And so the Lord." He does the same thing with us. How comforting. :)

Be blessed and have a wonderful Sunday.

Dreams. Guest blogger: Stephanie Wright

2010-10-01T11:51:00.001-05:00

Today, after reading one of my dear friend's blog I decided that what she had to say was better than what I had to say! So sit back and check out what my friend Stephanie Wright has to say on dreams. Stephanie is a local hair stylist, works as a personal assistant to Pastor Jeff with Promiseland Church, and she gets many calls from me on my dreams that I have. She walks you through your dreams and basically and biblically guides you in understanding your dreams better. Check out more of her blog posts on Shout Out Cafe.

Dreams

The world defines a dream as an idea or image present in the mind but having no concrete or objective to reality. An illusory or fantastic plan of hope, or to desire something urgently. But we know that God reveals to us in His word that He speaks to us through dreams. Therefore when in His promises, through prayer, we can actually be encouraged, guided and warned in our dreams.

And it shall come to pass in the last days, saith God, I will pour out of my Spirit upon all flesh: and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams: and on my servants and on my handmaidens I will pour out in those days of my Spirit; and they shall prophesy: Acts 2:17-18

I have found that most of the time a dream is absent from reality but portrays it. A dream can symbolize a great plan yet to unfold, or an encouraging word for our brothers. Even more so than not, a dream could pose as a warning to the intercessor as the plan of the enemy is revealed.

Why would God show us these things? Because prayer really does change things. Yes, our Lord and Savior knows the outcome before we do, but He still allows free will in our lives. Now it’s up to us on what to do with the information He gives us.

It seems that the church world today has dismissed this wonderful gift God so freely gave to His people. Dreams and visions are spoke of hundreds of times in the Bible. Jesus Christ said greater things shall we do. So why then would it not be correct for us to receive more revelation than even that of the wonderful saints before? Greater things shall WE do!

So the next time God speaks to you as you rest, then take some time to think about what it is He is telling you. Many answers we search for in life comes to us in the middle of the night when we least expect it. Why is that? Could it be that it’s the only time God can speak without us interrupting?

REVELATION – INTERPRETATION – APPLICATION

Activate the gifts God has given and encourages the body of Christ to use today!

In most cases dreams are symbolic, while visions are literal.

A dream is like a snapshot which captures one brief moment out of a lifetime. It can not be understood fully without knowing something about the life of the person it concerns. Therefore it is not enough to know the meaning of symbols alone. Although without an understanding of symbols, we are greatly limited in our ability to navigate through for interpretation or even application if the dream are concerning ourselves.

There is a difference between a dream and a vision, a vision requires little or no interpretation. In addition to the actual vision seen, a vision can be accompanied by an audible voice that gives the primary meaning.

…and a vision appeared to Paul in the night; There stood a man of Macedonia and prayed him, saying, Come over into Macedonia, and help us. And after he had seen the vision, immediately we endeavored to go into Macedonia, assuredly gathering that the Lord had called us for to preach the gospel unto them. Acts 16:9-10.

How do I start understanding my dreams?

It is a great idea to keep a notebook, or dream journal by your bed. Many times we are awakened in the night by an extraordinary dream only to forget it by morning. This can be frustrating. Jot down the key points of your dream on paper to help with your revelation and application at a later time. Things to notice about your dreams to write down are the setting, the people, names, colors, and emotions. I have found that the more I pay attention, the more God speaks to me in my dreams. I begin to notice patterns, what certain objects represent to me, and what the Bible says about some of the things God is revealing.

Dreams are an extraordinary gift from God.

I can help you understand what is being spoke to you as you sleep.

Please feel free to post your dreams or message me for insight.

Tub of ice cream vs. cute dainty bowl.

2010-09-30T12:50:00.002-05:00

I have a Brennen story for you. The other night I was eating salsa in these cute little cups. I just grabbed it because it was the first thing I saw that would hold my salsa. I took it into the living room and mom said, "Oh, I just love those little cups! That makes me want ice cream!" So after I finished gorging myself on chips and salsa I get up to take it to the kitchen and mom asks me to get her some ice cream.

She is expecting her ice cream in one of these:

And I bring her this with a spoon in it.

Mom, of course, was disappointed in her daughter. Mom was expecting a beautiful ice cream creation with whip cream on top and a spoon placed perfectly in it. And I gave her a tub of ice cream and a spoon. Which, to me, was way better because with the little cups you get like 3 bites max. Which is a joke. And with the tub, you ain't gotta stop.

The thing about it is- we are like this with the Lord sometimes. We ask for something, and we expect it to come so pretty, neat, and without any work. And then He gives us what we want (in abundance) and we don't like it. We get up and go do it ourselves. I'm not saying that my mother was not appreciative, she laughed when I brought her the ice cream. (She should of expected it, it's me!) And, there is nothing wrong with expecting things to be great. I believe that God does want to give us things with a cherry on top. But there are other things that He knows what is best for us. And he knows how much more we will appreciate it, take care of it and love it- if we do some of the work, waiting, and preparing. Ya know? It all links back to my post last night.

God wants us to take responsibility for the things He gives us. Same thing I said in this post- on how we have to be faithful with the little things in order to be faithful with the big things. Same concept. It all goes hand in hand. We've got to get serious about nurturing the things that God has given us. Our gifts, our family, our spouses, our children, our co-workers, our talents and our abilities. God has placed these people and things in our lives for a reason. And you are where you are "for such a time as this". God has been preparing you to be exactly where you are... and He's preparing you now [where you currently are] for where you are going. Cool huh?

Lord, I just say right now- that I will take whatever you give me. If it's pretty with a cherry on top or if it's just a tub of whatever you decide to give me. I receieve it! No matter how much work it will take. I want what you want me to have. Thank you Jesus! Amen.

waiting......

2010-09-29T23:30:00.000-05:00

Timing is everything. That is my lesson that I am learning. Timing. It is also probably the hardest lesson I have learned. And I'm not even done with it. (great!) Just so you know this post links back to this post. I am still waiting for my gifts. 2, almost 3 weeks later. The good thing? One of em came in! My blow dryer! Yay, yay, yay! But there are still others that have yet to be released. The ones from the Lord. And tonight I had a lady speak into me about it.

She said, "It's all in preparation."

Man, if I get only get that word drilled into my head. Preparation. Life is a constant state of preparation. One preparation leads to another preparation. So my guess is, I better get this lesson learned and do it quickly. Because- I will deal with it again.

I am such an extreme person, all or nothing, do it and do it now, move from this to that. I can go from different things quickly. Which, can be good. And it can also be bad. Such as, when I am instructed from the Lord to wait. So wait I will.

The word "wait" is in the bible over 100 times. Think it was important? Psalm 27:14 says it best:

¹⁴ Wait for the LORD;

be strong and take heart

and wait for the LORD.

There is beauty in the waiting. It's a time of leaning on the Lord. That is simply all I can do at this point. Is wait for Him. And in that waiting lies the preparation. He is preparing you for "such a time as this". He is preparing you to be where You are! God has big plans and He wants to use you where you are. He is preparing you. In the midst of preparation you can still act. You can still love, share, praise, and honor Him and others.

Waiting is not an excuse to kick back and relax and ride easy. Not at all. Waiting is a call to be on your knees in prayer and fasting. It is a call to kick the enemy in his face and tell him to go back where he belongs. It is a call to worship God even in the midst of waiting. It is a call to stand tall and firm in your walk with Him. Waiting really is a beautiful thing; especially if you do it God's way. The way that you choose to wait will make the outcome that much sweeter.

Wait. Patiently. Fervently. Passionately.

Prepare. Expect. Believe. Walk it out.

Beauty.

-B

Me time.

2010-09-28T22:01:00.000-05:00

   Can I please say that the past 2 days have been crazy? They have. Crazzzzzy. Well, crazy to me. I love to be around people and being busy, but I also love my Brennen time. And I need my Brennen time. Hence, no blogs the past 2 days. So sorry. But for me to stay sane.... I must have my time. Time to think, pray, daydream, kick my feet up, and spend time with myself.
   I don't think that I'm the only one. Didn't Jesus himself go up to the mountain to pray? Even Jesus needed His time. ;) For some of us, it is vital to our sanity and to the sanity of others that we sneak off and get some me time.
   So, what are you doing still reading my blog? Go get yourself some me time. :)

Resting until 11:22am :)

2010-09-26T11:27:00.000-05:00

   I will shamefully admit that I just woke up. And I am blogging at 11:22. I say "shamefully" only because of my blogpost yesterday where I said it's time for me to get my hide out of bed. But there is one thing that I must say. Sleeping in until 11:15 is amazing. Especially if you haven't slept in in over 2 weeks. I love this feeling. :) And I'm sure some of you are criticizing me because I slept in until 11:22 on a Sunday. Well, this is when I personally will thank Pastor Jeff for having Promiseland Metro Church at 5PM on Sundays. I appreciate it so much. :)

   But the thing is, sometimes our bodies need rest. I haven't dreamed in a good little big, which is not normal for me. And guess who had 3 dreams last night!? Me! I love, love, love that God speaks through dreams. And guess who was singing in her dream again? Me! Maybe, one day, [please Lord] I will have a beautiful voice and get to sing loud and proud for real! I also got asked, while singing, if I knew Bret Michaels. Weird?

   Anyway- this is a short post today. Just for kicks. I am enjoying my Sunday morning. May go for a walk. May not. May cook the family some lunch... and I may talk them into going and eating. Who knows? But I like this feeling. Thank you Lord for rest. And thank you that I don't have to rest my head on a rock. That I get a pillow. :) I love you Lord!

It's the little things.

2010-09-25T11:33:00.000-05:00

I am blown away this morning. The Lord is so good. I have been so blessed these past few days to be able to spend time with the Lord early. I really need to "get my hide out of bed and get going early", in the words of my pastor. (Don't worry, he only teases me.) But the thing about it, it's the truth. Mornings are so sweet with the Lord. It may take a few cups of coffee or a quick walk to get you going but you have the whole day to think of his promises. Check out what my reading was today:

...All things are yours, whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the word or life or death or the present or the future- all are yours, and you are of Christ and Christ is of God. So then, men ought to regard us as servants of Christ and as those entrusted with the secret things of God. Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful. -1 Corinthians 3:22-23; 4:1-2

Who's dancing!? Wayyyyy cool. I am of Christ. And Christ is of God. I am His and He is mine. He trusts me with the secret things. He trusts me with His secrets! How amazing is that. One of the biggest truths that I have learned ties right into the last part of the verse.

To be faithful with the big- you must be faithful with the small.

   It's evident in the things of God. God will not give us a church of thousands if we aren't faithful with the church of thirty. God will not bless you with millions of dollars if you aren't smart and wise with a paycheck of $300. Same thing in lots of jobs. You start out small- then you work your way up. Same thing with the things of God. Not, by any means, that the Lord doesn't want you to be blessed, because he does. He works everything together for our good. (Romans 8:28) He has plans to prosper us, not to harm us. (Jeremiah 29:11) But God also will honor your faithfulness. He will honor your honor. He will bless your loyalty.

   If you are anything like me, you are struggling with this thought. I struggled for a while with it. Because I knew that God wanted/wants to bless his people. So if I have to be faithful with small things to get big things then that sounds like "working for salvation". But it's not at all. It is simply a time of preparation and nurturing. You don't give a newborn baby a ham sandwich and pretzels for lunch. The baby isn't ready for it. Same concept. Good news- the Lord is preparing us for it.

   It really is the little things that count. We just have to be willing to do the small things. Picking up trash on the sidewalk, helping someone who dropped their books....... get creative. If you see something that needs to be done.... do it! It all comes down to honor. Honor each other. Honor those above you. Honor those below you. And you too will be honored.

Jesus, teach us how to love, honor and respect one another. Show us where we need to be faithful with the small things. Prepare us for the big things! Give us open ears to hear the secrets that you have for us today. We love you Lord. Amen.

Belated gifts.

2010-09-24T11:58:00.000-05:00

To make a long story short- for my birthday my parents bought Chelsea and I an amazing blow-dryer. Seriously, the best blow dryer. I love it! However, only one came in, so since Chelsea lives in Bowling Green she took the blow-dryer. No problem. I just had/have to wait for mine to come in.

Story 2. My sweet cousin Jonathan bought my sister and I Toms. Super exciting- except Chelsea's came in and mine did not. Sad story huh?

So a week after my birthday I still am waiting on both of my presents. Which, in all reality, is not that big of a deal. But I was just curious as to why both of my presents were on order. So, I asked God. And he let a light bulb go off in my head. My presents in the natural are lining up with the presents the Lord has for me in the spiritual.

The Lord told me that just like I have 2 presents that are mine but just aren't here yet is exactly the same thing with my birthday present from the Lord. The Lord has it on order. It's just timing for it to arrive. He's made the order, paid for it, told it where to go, and it's just a matter of waiting. And not only does He have my birthday present but also just other gifts for me. They are to come. They've been prophesied, dreamt of, had visions of, hours of prayer over..... and they are coming.

Another thing that hit me- was I thought that my presents should come on my birthday. But just because I thought they should- didn't mean that they would. Same thing with our prayers. Just because we pray for something RIGHT NOW and then it doesn't come. It doesn't mean that the Lord won't give it to us. He will give it to us if it's in His timing.

And- those gifts are going to be so much sweeter now that I have waited for them! God is good no matter what. And his gifts are always good gifts! What gifts are you waiting for!?

Worldy to Godly.

2010-09-23T11:52:00.000-05:00

Live, Laugh, Love. Follow your heart. Only your heart can tell. Trust your instinct. If someone's on your mind then maybe they are supposed to be.

I mean, come on, you know you've heard these tidbits of advice from some people that mean a lot to you. Am I right? What are some other ones that people use often? That have some truth in them- but have a lot of truth that is missing. This morning I read John Paul Jackson's update and this is what he said:

"You cannot depend on your eyes when your spirit is out of focus."

This is so true. It's the same thing with your heart. You can't depend on your heart if it's not "solely" His. You can't trust your instinct if your instinct is messed up by the world. You can't trust your mind if it is bombarded by evil/demonic/worldly thoughts. Can I get an amen?

But so often in this world we are bombarded by this advice. Especially in my generation. Go where the wind takes you. Move with the flow. Follow peace. You know, all of that good stuff that makes me think of people dancing in an open field to the sound of the wind. Ya know?

Follow your heart. I so struggle with this. It is so easy to follow your heart. But my heart can be off sometimes. I mean if I followed my heart I'd be eating brownies for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. But just because my heart says it's okay doesn't mean it's good for me. Right? Beth Moore was the first one that really introduced this truth into my life. Our hearts have to be wholly and holy His. It has to be a heart that is completely surrendered to His will for our lives. Personal story? My dream and desire in life is to be a wife and a mother. And if I am honest- within 5 minutes of meeting a handsome young man that loves the Lord I have the two of us married, old, and gray watching our grandkids play soccer. (Please still be my friend, and don't get freaked out- lovely men in my life.) But I constantly have to take those thoughts captive and turn it to, "Lord, you have the perfect match for me. And only You can bring him to me at the right time. So I trust you..." and then I always add, "and give the poor guy some courage to marry me." :)

Funny huh? Well, that is the realistic Brennen Gaddis. I will admit it. If you hang around me too long you will know that I have parts of my wedding already planned. (You're right, I don't even have a boyfriend.) There is nothing wrong with being prepared! :)

The thing is- I can't always trust my heart. My heart can lead me to some places that I am not supposed to be. I have to really search out what the Lord is telling me. I have to be sensitive to the things the Lord is showing me and see how it relates to scripture and obey what He says. So what am I trying to say?

Get your spirit in focus. Get right with God. Quit wasting time, following your worldly heart and get it where it's supposed to be. Look at what Philippians 4:8-9 says;

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me--practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

It's the same thing I said a few posts ago about our desires.

Psalm 37:4 says Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.

What we sometimes forget is that- whenever we are truly delighting ourselves in the Lord, His desires actually become our desires. Just like with my crazy desire to be a wife. Yes, I want to be a wife, and I believe that it is a God-given desire, but it has now changed to "I want to be a wife when YOU want it and with who you want me to be married to." It's a daily decision I have to make to trust that the Lord will provide.

Obey the scriptures. Trust what the Lord says. He will bring it to completion. Just like I believe 100% that the Lord is giving my future husband courage right now. (In Jesus Name!) And just like I believe that the Lord will guide me into the next steps in my life- weather it's as a student, missionary, servant, or wife. Whatever it is, I have faith that the Lord will lead me to it.

Feel free to go where the wind takes you. If it's the Holy Spirit's wind. Go ahead, and trust your heart. If it's a heart that is wholly the Lord's. And- Live. Laugh. and Love. It'll make your life more enjoyable. Just take those tidbits- and add some Jesus to it. :) Change it from worldly to Godly.

-B

Old Shoes. Firm Foundation.

2010-09-22T13:40:00.000-05:00

Okay, I am a little ashamed of myself. One, for actually posting a blog about this. Two, for it being a blog. And three, because I should be ashamed. This morning I got ready for work and needed a pair of flats. Why flats? Because not all 10 toesies are painted in the fabulous "flip flop fantasy" color that I adore. As you can tell by the picture below- I'm wearing a gray shirt. Cute shirt, huh? Props to my Aunt J.C.- fabulous gift giver. I have a few pairs of black flats- two of them have gold- so those were not an option, and the other ones hurt my feet. So out with those. (Comfort is more important than looks. Just saying.) I found some flats from when I was 15. That is 5 years ago! This is when I get ashamed. Because, I almost didn't wear them because they were 5 years old. And how could they be in style? Even though I thought they looked cute. (I'm sure I've lost some of my guy readers by now.)

Even though they were 5 years old, I wore them. Proudly. Of course after I gave myself a pep talk that some things are still cute 5 years later. I wore them around the house, went to Hucks to get some water, and they held up for the few blocks I had to walk to get to work. And then, when I have 5 customers in the shop- what happens? The bottoms get loose. Check out the photo:

How pitiful! My poor shoes- falling apart! One shoe has half of the sole off. The other is just plain flimsy. I can't count on it staying on there for much longer. The point of me writing about the soles of my shoe is more than just getting some sympathy and possibly a free pair of shoes to match my grey and silver clothes. (Size 7.5) ;) This totally relates to our walk with the Lord.

We have to have strong soles. Not souls. But soles. A firm foundation, so to speak. We have to have a strong foundation in what we believe. Check out what the Bible says:

For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ.

1 Corinthians 3:11

Our Savior must be our foundation. All other foundations will fall, tear, rip apart, loose their glue, crumble or be crushed. Christ Jesus is the only One who can withstand everything. The lyrics to this song sum it up much better than I could. Take some time. Check it out. Let the words speak to you like they speak to me.